We Hear You! Letters from Our July/August 2011 Issue

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more.com Editors

It brought up a reoccurring thought that has had no placement for me that I feel needs to be heard by a wider audience in the world rather than swimming in the same loop in my head.

In the article the phrase "losing one's virginity" was voiced.

We are in 2011.

Girls, unless victims of violence do not LOSE their virginity, in fact in this case they have it brutally taken from them. Girls/women make a choice to have sex. It is not like losing your cell phone or keys. It is a choice made for a myriad of reasons, but never the less is a CHOICE.

When society keeps referring to this issue as a "loss" it disempowers women and makes them sound like victims and continues to falsely empower boys/men.

I am dying and feel like there is no time like the present to say what is on my mind.

I am one of those who were brutally introduced to sex in infancy....so I know for sure I had no choice and did not lose anything..... I had it taken.

Why not empower young women to make good choices by informing them it is THEIR CHOICE how they conduct themselves and how they choose to use their bodies.

Thank you for listening....I finally said what has been on my mind for years.

Sonya Bavvai

I'd never actually heard of Mary Crowley, yet alone the More magazine (please excuse me) until about 20 minutes ago. My mom brought me this magazine, and showed me the article "The Lady Talks Trash" and told me to read it.

I was instantly captivated and utterly excited to see this. Mary is now officially my woman hero!

For my last sophomore English class project, we were given a research project to find an issue and write a paper about it, give a speech, blah blah blah all that. I was not excited...but I then found a subject I actually found interest in: The plastic collection in the ocean.

When I read this article, I was simply ecstatic: D Almost all the fine detail and facts within the article were in the speech I’d given, and I thought I’d been about the only one to know about them, but nope. 

And of course people do know about the plastic collection, but hardly anyone I gave the speech to had known about it. Ridiculous! So to see this wonderful article, I knew that it would spread the word of such a horrible growth in our beautiful oceans, and I do hope it makes a change.

The reaction of my classmates was horrified, yet seeming to want to take action and start to recycle and such, so I can't imagine the impact that this will have to whomever is to read this incredible article.  

It really got to my heart and I just want to say I felt a great connection. We need some real change in this world. I SALUTE YOU MARY!! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for your incredible Project Kaisei because it means the world to me. 

Even if it means kissing a pig. Or perhaps something more prominent like really getting to work in the war zone. I would love to help! Or not I can be there for moral support too :)

And thank you whoever wrote the article itself. It was very well written.

Anna J Stone (15 years old), Kalispell, Montana

 

When I purchased a copy of the July/August 2011 issue of MORE for Women of Style & Substance, I expected just that. However, the article entitled “More sex, please!” by Thea Singer stated that soft-core porn, specifically without “pumped-up breasts” and “no hint of violence” should be included in a shopping trip for “appropriate  ‘adult entertainment’.” As a woman of style and substance, the suggestion that women should support and endorse an industry that objectifies people in general, and young women specifically, as sexual objects is offensive and distasteful. By specifically stating what to avoid, I presume the author is aware of the dangers of unrealistic body images and sexual violence. There are plenty of magazines that espouse Ms. Singer’s perspective; sadly, yours had to join their ranks. Thank you for your time and consideration.

 Sincerely,

Terri Mossgrove, Tampa Bay, Florida

 

First Published June 30, 2011

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Dear Editor:
I was disturbed by the spiritual and religious understanding of Jesus and the church in the article “The Rebel Priests.” There is a difference between a church religion and the spiritual relationship that Christ taught His disciples and the Holy Spirit teaches His followers.
There is nothing wrong with the leaders in the Catholic Church upholding their religious beliefs and rituals that they have followed for over 2 millennia. When Martin Luther & Calvin founded a new religion and broke from Catholicism, this was the beginning of many new churches, rituals, beliefs, and ways to worship God.
If these “Rebel Priests” are changing a core belief and ritual in the Catholic religion it is agreeable to see this as an offspring of the Catholic religion and a legitimate way to worship God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit. However, it does not make this part of the Catholic Church.
When a believer is involved in a church body they are able to find solace from the structure provided. This is perfectly legitimate, especially in the Catholic religion which is very much more rule bound than the Protestant churches. It seems like trying to force the Catholic hierarchy to recognize churches and priests who are not following the Catholic beliefs is an immature spiritual approach when acceptance that a new religion spun off of the Catholic Church is being born is a more accurate approach.
I myself am protestant and believe that there are many ways to reach God, not just Catholic, not just Christian and not just Muslim, etc. If a person wishes to reach God then they will because God will always reach back to us. It is offensive to me that these “Rebel Priests” believe that everyone who is not Catholic including themselves for being excommunicated will burn in Hell. That is a very Catholic idea and if they choose to include this concept for themselves in their churches and their new religion then I do feel that they are missing the point of Christ’s teaching altogether. It seems to me that if this is the motivation for these new churches to achieve salvation is to be recognized by the Catholic Church then perhaps they should follow the Catholic rules and guidelines instead of being saved by Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with the Catholic belief that their church leaders follow celibacy or with having different roles for different genders if that is what the church leaders wish to follow based on their established traditions and their valid interpretations of the teachings of Jesus Christ. If people don’t like it start a new religion but don’t call it Catholic.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth K. Shibahara

kim stacy07.10.2012

I am writing about the artical on the book Slouching Toward Adulthood. The comment 22 to 35 year olds caught between adolescence and adulthood really hit a nerve. Um 18 is adulthood. These parents that held back their children for whatever reason have got to stop making excuses for their children not succeeding.
Children need guildence when they are young. They need to do the things they can do when they are young. These "Adultescents" of this last generation had way too much done for them in the way of school work and not having to work because so much was given too them, they didn't have to.
On the other end, the parents let them get away with things like partying and paying for excessive traveling and expensive cars like they were millionairs trying to keep up with the Jones.
Now that they have to finally take care of themselves, these parents blame it on the economy.
I would love a study done of how many of these kids were from divorced families, where child support issues had to do with allowing there "children" such range to not do what adults should be doing at 18, and what they shouldn't be doing at 18.

Kathy Lowry06.25.2012

I cannot thank you enough for Jaquelyn Mitchard's article on "Where did our friendship go wrong". I have never been able to express in words my emotions about my best friend "dumping" me. We did not quarrel, we had no spat, we never even argued....her reason....she needed to spend more time with God. This woman had been my spiritual mentor for the last five years of my Christian life. She always told me that the love she had for me was as unconditional as God's love. When she said she couldn't give me anymore time because she needed to spend more with God, it was as if God Himself had "dumped" me. She said she still loved me the same, but that she didn't have time for me anymore....to clarify, I am not a "needy" friend, just a friend through thick it thin....I spent two years trying to separate her absence from God's withdrawal. I am only now able to discern between the two...God will never leave me, He's never too busy, or He never needs to spend more time with someone else. Thank you Jaquelyn for such an acutely expressed article.
Blessings,
Kathy Lowry

Kathy Lowry06.25.2012

I cannot thank you enough for Jaquelyn Mitchard's article on "Where did our friendship go wrong". I have never been able to express in words my emotions about my best friend "dumping" me. We did not quarrel, we had no spat, we never even argued....her reason....she needed to spend more time with God. This woman had been my spiritual mentor for the last five years of my Christian life. She always told me that the love she had for me was as unconditional as God's love. When she said she couldn't give me anymore time because she needed to spend more with God, it was as if God Himself had "dumped" me. She said she still loved me the same, but that she didn't have time for me anymore....to clarify, I am not a "needy" friend, just a friend through thick it thin....I spent two years trying to separate her absence from God's withdrawal. I am only now able to discern between the two...God will never leave me, He's never too busy, or He never needs to spend more time with someone else. Thank you Jaquelyn for such an acutely expressed article.
Blessings,
Kathy Lowry

Amy 09.03.2011

My thanks to the editors at More for spotlighting Ms. Marguerite Schneider's excellent letter about the Kardashian profile, and many thanks to Ms. Schneider, of course, for writing the piece. I see that "Julie", in the section of comments, feels the same as well. Both of these readers capture my sentiments. I really love More and think it is a first-rate publication, in a class by itself within its category and able to hold its own against magazines in other cateogries as well (including its wonderful website), and I simply hope there will be no more attention paid in its pages to "Kardashian types". Changing the topic, but still on the theme of offering feedback, would More be interested in polling its readers about their feelings on fur? It seems to me that only people who live wholly within the bubble of the fashion industry are still willing to turn a blind eye to the cruelty that fur products represent. More would be adopting a cutting-edge and enlightened approach by featuring only faux fur and, with its powerful platform, would greatly help to support animal welfare. P.S. While naturally I respect all of the commenters' opinions, I just want to add, in response to one below, that I welcome More's so-called "self-help" items, and I don't think those sections detract from the beauty and fashion advice at all. Were More only composed of the latter two elements, I believe it would become nearly indistinguishable from all of the other fashion magazines on the market, and I, for one, would lose my interest in subscribing to it.


@acnad
Thanks so much for reaching out to us about this dress. We’re so glad you loved it and want to buy it. Sorry for the delay, but we've been told that the dress has been shipped to stores. While it may be a little late to hit racks, check out Dillards.com where it is available now. Here’s the link: http://www.dillards.com/product/London-Times-FloralPrint-Dress_301_-1_30....

Julie 07.15.2011

I have been a MORE subscriber from almost the very beginning and I could not believe the magazine felt the Kardashian article was worth the time. I do not consider living a life of excess, frivalous lifestyles and constant media attention as interesting journalism. Granted they have worked to get where they are, but I do not see any morals or values to the lifestyle they lead. Even my teen children can't understand their claim to fame.

acnad 07.12.2011

You published a photo of a dress in your July/August issue un 'the event/garden wedding. It is a London Times jersey dress, floral for $89. You said Macy's carried it and gave a phone number. When I called they had no information on this dress or even a clue that they even carried it. I researched myself by going onto Macy's, Norstrom's, and London Times websites and the dress is nowhere to be found. How can you tease us readers with the 'perfect' dress that I want to buy and cannot find anywhere? That's so bad!!!! Do you have a purchase number or any information at all where to get the dress? If not you shouldn't be advertising that it is available. Disappointed.

connie duke07.04.2011

I don't need to reinvent myself. I am so very tired of all the text. I used to like MORE because it had fashion and beauty that applied to my age group. I have a career that I love and want to have fashion tips to keep me up-to-date. Now it's like a monthly self-help magazine. Trash the new articles and get back to your roots.

Carol Ciaciuch06.30.2011

Deborah Copaken Kogan's article is outstanding. For all the progress we have made in this world, we lack sorely where it counts the most: with humanity. It is frustrating and exhausting to be a female at times. Always wary of where you are, who is speaking to you, what a male might really mean, what time it is, if it is light out, etc. But I am amazed at her strength to go where there is danger. She is not inviting problems, she is living her life and doing what she loves. That is, in no way, an invitation to be brutalized verbally or sexually. Maybe one day we will teach male children it's not okay, it's not funny and it makes them LESS masculine to be violent against women. Cheers, to you on an article that is clear, intelligent and well written. Anyone who would like to make less of it should consider why it makes them so uncomfortable in the first place.

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