We Hear You! Letters from Our March 2013 Issue

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by MORE • Editors

As a father who works part-time and does a lot of the child care, I read your article on the "mommy wars" with interest. My wife works long hours in a demanding and rewarding career at which she excels. But clearly she and many other professional women face scrutiny into their choices about family life, in a way that their male colleagues do not. What I find particularly frustrating is that much of this scrutiny comes from other women, whether intimate relations or the distant voices heard in the media.
Dads are easier on each other, in my experience. My daughter and I often socialize with other dads who are the primary caregivers of their children. Some of us have chosen to be stay-at-home dads, while others have embraced the role out of necessity because of job loss. Whatever our stories, I have found that fathers tend to have a friendly and sharing relationship with each other. I don't see the SAHDs comparing each other's parenting skills, nor do I see them disparaging the choices of the dads who are working longer hours. We just try to make the best of our situation - to do what is best for our children and our relationship with them - and that seems to be enough. I am saddened that mothers seem unable to find such solidarity in their own lives as parents.
When women criticize working mothers, implicitly they also criticize the SAHDs to whom some of them are married. The lack of respect faced by the SAHD generally doesn't come from other dads - many dads working long hours outside the home envy us! The greatest challenge for a SAHD is to find a way into the female-centered infrastructure of children's activities. Working women complain about being invited to a playgroup at 1:00 pm, but the SAHD might not get invited at all. Perhaps if we had more support for men in this role, we would also be less critical of women who choose to make their contribution to their families in the workforce.
--Duncan Vinson

 Hello Lesley,
 I have never written to a magazine editor but I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you how much I am enlightened by your magazine. I share the information I absorb every month with my 27 year old daughter because I want her to see how professional, intelligent women think, dream and succeed in this world. And how they continue to grow, inspire and reinvent themselves at any age. So many magazines who target women seem to be more concerned with their advertisers or trendy stuff. I think your magazine is well rounded. I am a real estate agent and my daughter is an attorney. I was a stay at home Mom when my children were young,  which I feel was a blessing, but I have since divorced and returned full force into the workplace. The articles in your magazine inspire me to do well.   
May I ask one favor. At some point in time , could you explore the topic of successful women dating after age 50? I feel like I am still  in high school and I had hoped that men had evolved by this age! I really enjoyed your article on the different types of relationships.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
 --Joan E. Heller

I thoroughly enjoy MORE, it is smart, classy and the perfect blend of what women in the real world want to read about.

However, I took exception to parts of “The Yes, No, Maybe, Never Fashion Guide in your March issue; particularly the age specific yes, no, maybe, never.

Ripped jeans are not acceptable after age 50? I disagree. On a walk recently I spotted a woman who was probably in or entering her seventh decade.

I saw her trying to get a young man out of her vehicle and into a wheelchair; it was apparent this young man was severely handicapped, so I offered to help.

She smiled and told me she was fine and didn't need any help, it was obvious she had done this many times before, with love.

She wore western style boots, jeans that were fashionably ripped and a straw hat. She radiated a quiet confidence and looked beautiful, for any age.

Conversely, I have seen younger women who because of personality or body type should probably not be wearing things that are deemed appropriate for their age.

 Fashion should be fun and a reflection of who we are and where we've been, not how long it took to get there.
--Samantha Frazier Gordon

What’s your reaction?

Comments

Lynn Cadogan04.17.2013

I have never written a magazine before but you are always asking for comments and feed back, so I felt compelled to write. I enjoy reading MORE and share it with friends when I finish. The articles are appropriate and very informative but in looking at the ads I find a big discrepancy in the age of women you are "writing" for and the appearance of the models. Except for maybe Diane Keaton, I couldn't find a model that looked "mature" and had any wrinkles. I would like to see more advertising with vibrant, more mature realistic looking women since that is the demographic your magazine is written for. Thanks for letting me share my comment.

04.05.2013

I read More cover-to-cover every month and have never written in before, but the article on the pills we can't kick was a major eye-opener. I was prescribed Effexor 3 years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was supposed to stop the hot flashes brought on by suddenly stopping HRT. After reading your article, I began to research Effexor and found that it causes hot flashes(!) and many other pretty nasty side effects. I started to taper off a few weeks ago and stopped taking it completely 6 days ago. The withdrawals are awful--really, truly awful--but I know eventually they will stop and I will no longer be putting my health in jeopardy taking a drug that isn't even meant to do what it was prescribed to do. If I still have hot flashes, I will suffer them naturally. I already take Black Cohash and will add other supplements or vitamins to help. Thank you so much for such an important article.

Carol 03.21.2013

No no no.....no 30 somethings in More! You promised a magazine for women over 40 - please honor that! And while you are at it, it wouldn't hurt to add "This is what 70 looks like". I read More front to back and back to front. I used to shop your ads for products I knew would be for me at my age.....but this is uncomfortably becoming more of my daughters' magazine. We deserve the More original market - I am waiting to spend....

03.07.2013

I love More, and I love Connie Britton. And believe me, I am no prude. But I did not love the girlie-mag photos that accompanied an otherwise very good story on this very interesting, strong and intelligent woman. Did I pick up the wrong magazine? Have I turned into my Great-Aunt Lila Lee, who would have been shocked and appalled by the overtly sexy display of Ms. Britton's bits, barely covered with scanty scraps? I believe in celebrating our fabulousness. But I have to wonder -- to what audience were you playing with those photos? Has More decided to be Maxim?

Julie 03.04.2013

I have become very disillusioned with MORE. It seems you are trying to reach a younger demographic (already more than well served) by including the 30s, whilst paying less attention to women in their 60s and 70s. I am 51 and have nothing in common with women in their 30s with regards to skin care, lifestyle, etc. Reading other womens' comments, I see I am not alone in this point of view. I would love to hear from the Editor on why the 30 somethings are now included.

Kate Dockham03.03.2013

I enjoy your magazine, but often think it is geared to women of a different lifestyle than my on-the-go mom and teacher life. I was looking through the Stylebook: Dressing for the Decades, and found a pair of shoes I had to have whether in the teacher budget or not. So I went to the Vince Camuto site to find the studded black sandals shown and nothing! How disappointing that I finally take the plunge and follow a piece of information from your magazine only to be unable to even find a picture of the same sandals. It is only March 3rd, hard to believe the season/trend/moment has eclipsed me already. Just another lesson for this everyday teacher to learn.
Sadly Shoeless,
Kate Dockham

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