When I was in the corporate world, there was just a way one needs to look. I loved that look. Moving back to California 14 years ago, my dress has become more lay back as they say, I can make this look good, but I always get the commit, you are so dressed up. I don't think I will ever be getting back to that look that was in my closet, ( a few years ago I had to let go of that stuff ONLY TOO COLLECT IT AGAIN) and recently looking back at pictures I was so thin and being 6 foot I could wear anything and I had lot of stuff. I just looked unhealthy... so much so I can barely look back only I can't look forward either. Several months ago my world came crashing in leaving me feeling stuck inside and out. What has keep me going is my inside smile, but it is drowning in my tears. To the point where I had to visit my doctor, while sitting there I see...MORE... What to wear at 30,40,50,60.... I couldn't believe it. I was holding it in my hands as my sweetie and I are driving off. It has been sitting here a few days, it's Sunday. I grab a cup of coffee, pick it up ( now I have given it a quick glance a few times but not read it) ... just sayin... Page 9 caught my eye... no joke, I looked like that at 50 except taller. Now 60 (this year) I look like Mrs. Claus's sister. As I am trying to re-establish my self at 60, I started to dig in to the closet (didn't know it also include the closet of my heart.) It is so hard, having such a heavy heart and then purging my (clothes) closet and LOL and my sewing room... I was having a hard time letting things go. So sitting here Reading your words ..."YOU KNOW DEEP IN YOUR HEART THAT WAS ANOTHER PLACE, ANOTHER TIME, ANOTHER YOU. echoes.... in fact so loud my soul heard it. This time it was tears of release. The thought of releasing became freedom; your words spoke not only to matters of my clothing, and sewing LOL, but to my heart aches in one way or another. Thank you.
My Pen Serves HIM,
I'm at the kitchen table eating breakfast and I flip open the magazine on the table. I'm only a few pages into a magazine I've never heard of and I saw your picture and the title "Getting Rid of...". Quite frankly, your picture caught my eye, then the title of the article. The last paragraphs asks' for input, here I go. Only an hour ago, I just left the house to walk the dog and the Vietnam Veteran's truck stopped at my house to pick up my donations that I left on the porch. It hit close to home when I read the part in the article about the dress in the closet. Just last weekend, I went through my closet and pulled out items that also brought back memories. I had so many duplicate sweaters and shirts that I donated. Some were gifts and even a few of them were from my deceased father. But I felt good about donating them. As an aside, for some crazy reason or future Halloween costume, I am saving the snake skin cowboy boots from the 90's(?). As I've gotten further into "middle age", I have also switched from watching Fox News in the morning to a more upbeat GMA. I have become so much more sensitive to seeing the men and women in our armed forces come back from combat with devastating injuries and missing limbs. I think of Lt. Dan in Forest Gump, in the hospital scene where he confronts Forest for saving his life.
I am a self employed 54 year old married father of 5 kids aging from 11-21. I am also trying to get rid of extraneous "clutter". But my clutter is stress. My joke nowadays to everyone that knows me, is that I call myself a GIVER. Instead of the stress of complaining, waiting, pushing and hoping, I've gotten to the point where I do more by myself for other people. I am just recently accepting the fact that I will always be hand to mouth, but that's the way I always have been. I joke with my kids that in are college, that all the trips to Disney and other neat places were bought from their college fund.