Aging Gracefully, Or Not - 8 Mistakes Made by Older Adults and Their Families Due to Fear of Aging

by Diane Carbo • Member { View Profile }
  • Inability to discuss end of life issues
    Aging gracefully is no longer a part of our culture. Billions of dollars are spent trying to avoid growing old. It is a fact that no one lives forever. We all are going to die. If we don’t die young, we are going to die old. So we should prepare for this time. We should be able to say what we want to do to stay alive. Some choose multiple medical tests, invasive and painful procedures and multiple admissions to the hospital to avoid death at all costs. Others, do not discuss death and do not express their wishes to others, and leave the difficult decisions to family members. This takes a terrible toll on a family during a very difficult time. There is such a thing as dying with dignity. It is the very last thing we can have a say in as we age. Establish advanced directives now. Five Wishes, an advanced directive form, is a very complete and unique among all other living will and health agent forms because it looks to all of a person’s needs: medical, personal, emotional and spiritual. Five Wishes also encourages discussing your wishes with your family and physician. Complete durable power of attorney for finances and durable power attorney for health care. These simple documents allow another person to make financial and health decisions for you should you become incapacitated in the future. You should also discuss developing a will and planning funeral arrangements. This will not only save you money, by preparing for your final arrangements, your family will have comfort in knowing that your final wishes are being honored. It will alleviate stress and allow them to celebrate you and your life.
  • In an effort to help family members become better informed and more feel empowered about assisting or even just with dealing with the issues of your aging parent, the resources are there. You just need to take the time, have the energy and the commitment to getting the right assistance at the right time. Being proactive and planning ahead makes this process much easier. Realize that your parents are adults and are responsible for their own lives.

    You can only do what they will allow you to do. Hang in there and continue to work with your parents and do not take what they are saying personally. It is about them and fear of aging and change, fear of loss of independence and fear of loosing control, over their lives.

    Diane Carbo RN- As a geriatric care manager, that has cared for her father and mother in law in their homes, she learned first hand how overwhelming, stressful, and time consuming caring for a loved one can be. Staying in their homes was very important to them. As a result, Diane started to assist others age in familiar surroundings and avoid the emotional and frustrating task of maneuvering the medical delivery system. Check here for additional help

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