BFF's vs. Husbands

When it comes to quality time and sharing, girlfriends demand a special place in our lives. 

by claudia stagg • More.com Member { View Profile }
Photograph: iStock

I love spending happy hours with my girlfriends. Sometimes, it’s from 5 to 7 p.m., when a glass of sangria or a bottle of lite beer can be enjoyed for just a few dollars.

More times than not, though, it’s just sharing some precious time with my gal pals beyond the parameters of a bar and some discounted drinks. Happy hours can be spent going for a morning walk at the reservoir, braking for Saturday garage sales, or taking in a free movie on a Tuesday night. They also can be spent drinking a good cup of tea (or coffee), catching up with an old friend over lunch, sharing a confidence or laughing over a good joke until our sides hurt.

I consider myself blessed to have the best bunch of BFFs. Some go as far back as grammar and high school; others I’ve met along my journey.

Many of my friends have never been introduced. Chances are, though, some may have some of the same qualities, and others may feel like they know one another from what I have shared with them.

A recent magazine article by Whitney Joiner, asks “Are Girlfriends the New Husbands?” In it, Joiner discusses whether BFFs are now taking the place of husbands in many areas, particularly because women are marrying later. Joiner reports on the up and down sides of this new theory. Once the article hit the newstands, Kathy Lee and Hoda debated Joiner’s position on their morning talk show, and Wendy Williams did a segment on it for hers. Others posted blogs on the topic.

To me, a relationship with my BFF and the relationship I have with my husband is like comparing apples and oranges. The two are completely different. 

Did you ever read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? If you did, you’d know these two species are different in many aspects of their lives, especially when communicating. 

Years ago, before cell phones and texts, one BFF called me from London on her honeymoon. She told me she wished I was the one travelling with her because we shared more of the same interests than her newly wedded husband. This year, they will celebrate their 30th anniversary, a true testimony of their relationship.

In my early 30s, I used to tell another BFF I roomed with that “if you were a man, I’d marry you tomorrow.” Although we’d always have a good laugh about it, there was some truth to those words. She had all the qualities I was looking for in a husband but hadn’t yet found.

For me, spending happy hours with my BFFs are an important part of my life because it’s good for my soul. You bet I’ll raise my glass to that one! 

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