A Continuing Mid-Life Saga

by Terri Mlotek • More.com Member { View Profile }

So, today while putting on my makeup, I realized my eye lids were not where they used to be. I mean, they are over my eyes, but for some crazy reason they have stretched out of shape and now need to be moved out of the way in order to apply eye shadow. Though I do this every morning, today I apparently paid closer attention to the changes I am now experiencing. For instance, I think my forehead has shrunk! It use to be a bit further away from my eyebrows, which also seem to be coming together each passing day!

I accidentally dropped my necklace down my shirt and it landed on my newly found belly. (Now I’m sure this is more information that you need to know), but a few years ago it would have landed on the floor. Today, even before it’s final resting stop, I felt like a Pachinco game as the necklace flipped and flopped through the now endless array of curves and landed ever so gracefully near what used to be a belly button. Now it’s just a belly! I seem to remember everything being a little higher on the grading scale. Somewhere between dead North and a little farther North, but not so far south! While washing my hands, I felt as if I were in a Snow White movie. Scrawny wrinkly fingers like the old lady with the apple. I charged across the vanity for the moisturizer. I buy it at Costco now. You can never have enough of that stuff. They should make the container life size so I can jump right in. I slathered myself head to toe with the richest, creamiest lotion I could afford. Then the dog walked in and started licking my leg. I jumped in the air, lost my footing on the way down and slid across the bathroom floor. Thank goodness for the cellulite and the added cushioning on my rear end, otherwise I really would have hurt myself. I looked over at the dog who had her head cocked to one side and I could swear she was smiling. Once I was able to grab hold of the sink (which took a few minutes cause my hands were so slippery) I stood up, looked in the mirror and realized that a lesser person might be threatened by this. Not me! I’m going to battle and I’m stopping at the pharmacy on the way to work to get more gear. I won’t go down with out a fight!

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