I have a confession: For the past four or five years I have "dated" men who were totally and completely and entirely not my "type." It was only recently after meeting someone that I realized this. It's weird. I've done a lot of soul searching in the last month or so, and I've come to the realization that I dated guys so completely different from my late husband Keith Smith on purpose. Maybe because I thought it would be unfair to anyone I dated to compare them to Keith. But the reality is that I dated them because unconsciously I knew they wouldn't measure up and therefore I wouldn't be so deep into any relationship that I couldn't walk away.
But, then I met this guy (and before you jump to any conclusions, it is definitely, most definitely not anything that is going to turn into anything). But I met this guy, and he reminded me of Keith. He is all man — hard living, hard drinking, a bit of a flirt (well more than a bit). But the fact of the matter is — with all that he does — he isn't afraid to admit to any of it. He doesn't hide behind excuses. It is, what it is. Or rather he is what he is. And lord help me. I find that so totally refreshing and attractive and dangerous... lol...! Because it's honest. He doesn't make excuses for a screw up. He screws up and admits it. But he manages to admit it with a smile and with such charm that, well, good lord who can resist.
Anyway, it opened my eyes, and for that, I am grateful because I needed a wake up call. I loved Keith Smith for a reason! He didn't have a metrosexual bone in his body! He was ALL man. Faults, mistakes, and yes, not always the most romantic man in the world. But, he was honest, honest, and dang that has to count for something! I can take a man who screws up, who makes mistakes — as long as he owns up to them, as long as he doesn't try to make me feel crazy for things he is doing. So, yeah. It's time I move forward, and it's time I stop running from the type of man that is my "type."