I have completly devoted my entire life to the raising of my children and I find myself now at 53…lost. My baby just moved away today and I’m feeling horrible. I was reading a story "attitude" in this months More and it made me think about myself as the mother of the bride. I thought if I wrote my feelings down, maybe the tears would stop. So far, it’s not working and it’s difficult to see the keys on my laptop.
I tried to prepare myself for this moment as all parents do when their child leaves to begin a new life and family of their own. But somehow it’s more difficult than I could ever imagine. I didn’t know the depth of emotions I would feel. Joy and pride fill my heart along with fear and sadness. The pain is unbearable. I’m still single and now I’m wandering around in what seems like a giant house all alone. This same house that only yesterday was filled with voices and family noises, dogs barking, music playing, the sounds of life. The silence is killing me. My throat is tight and hard to swallow, my eyes are swollen and my heart is broken. My daughter has called me twice enroute to her new home, both calls were difficult as we were overcome with emotion. She had a signature board at her reception for all guest to jot down a thought or wish for the new couple. At the end of the evening she said to me "Mom, you haven’t signed it yet." I told her I needed a moment to gather my thoughts. I did just that. I thought all night long and couldn’t come up with any poignant words to write, so I wrote that words couldn’t describe the love and pride I felt in my heart for both of them. Be good to one another. I am here for you always. Love mom.
Being a single parent provided me an opportunity to become extremely close to both of my children and for them to each other. They have both selected wonderful people to share their futures with. I could not have picked better souls for my children to walk through life with.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring me, I just pray it brings me at all…