As April, Autism Awareness Month, approaches, the media takes extra notice of those who are diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Those of us who are affected by Autism appreciate this, but it is also a painful reminder of what don't and do have.
If I could write a letter to Autism, it would be something like this:
I don't understand you, but I try every day.
I see the pain in my young son’s eyes when he struggles to communicate, understand, do, typical things.
I spend hours upon hours in therapy with my son to try and understand you, make the pieces of this puzzle fit, when sometimes I wonder if they ever will.
I have learned to ignore the glances when out in public, or the whispers I hear that are spoken under whispered breaths.
My days are spent doing visual aides, setting and keeping schedules, making sure the pantries are stocked with your food choices. Praying that I don't over stimulate you when trying to slowly introduce new things.
I beg you to please allow us to connect those pieces to this puzzle so I can hear my son voice his concerns, opinions or try to cut a piece of construction paper with ease, dress himself or eat something other then the nine things you allow.
Life is a never-ending battle, fight. Everything and everyone is a fight, because of you.
Just when I think I understand you, you throw a new curve ball in my direction.
Every night I sit with my son and tell him about his day, in hopes that one day you will allow him to tell me.
My heart breaks daily, feelings are hurt, and we have lost friends/family, dreams.
The struggles are hard. I hate that I have to fight this battle, I hate that my son spends most of his time in the hospital for therapy instead of outside playing. I hate that you chose my son, our family. I hate you.
I don't understand you, but I try every day. Because of you I see the strength my son has.