My Life With Younger Men

A woman contemplates her loves and losses and what she learned from loving younger men. 

by Julie Snyder • Member { View Profile }
Photograph: By Rizzo

Now I am together with a man I met 23 years ago, when we were both in our 20s. We found each other four years ago and rekindled our friendship. Last year we took the next step and became a couple. But having known each other for so long, we have an advantage over most yearling couples. We are of a similar age (he's only five years younger!) and background. We are both artists who had very similar childhoods of world travel and divorced parents and multiple siblings. We are both in the world of performance art and fine arts. We even had the same painting teacher before we knew each other so long ago! In a recent article (October 2012) in Psychology Today, I read a great article about five truths, life lessons people learn too late. Lesson #3 was opposites don't attract forever. It advises you to seek a mate whose values and background echo your own. Perhaps the age difference between the last guy and me was not the problem. Our overwhelming differences as people were what tore us apart.

The bottom line is that you have to know yourself and know your mate. You have to like that person as well as love them. Age may not be the issue, but something about the age difference may factor in if you are of completely different generations and value systems. Our background affects how we see the world and how we approach it.

And, in the end, it is a huge turn-on to be on the same page as your mate.

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