With only a few days until the race, I’ve shifted from remarkable calm to panic and superficial ridiculousness. Early this week everything was perfect. I’ve clocked the miles and know I can do 13.1. I won’t win walking/running, but for a woman who could barely eek out 3 miles every few days, it’s a victory. Mix in a week of tapered exercise and the promise of pasta, and who could complain? Then I got the emails... 

Message #1 informed me that a friend will be at the race helping 20-something BFF as she tries to climb Harlem Hill. My panic? Isn’t NYC flat? If 20-something friend needs moral support to get up Harlem Hill (twice!), I’m gonna need life support.

Message #2 asked if I could meet the MORE photographer at the finish line. My panic? This might be the worst photo opp since hubby pulled out the Cannon Sure Shot in the delivery suite. I need Stacy London and a bronzer STAT.

Message #3: BTW Elisabeth Hasselbeck is running. My Panic: OMG, the only thing worse than a post-race photo would be a post-race photo with Elisabeth Hasselbeck (Never mind that she’ll finish about the time I hit mile 6 and my second bathroom break.). She was runway ready in the Australian Outback without a shower. I love her, but if there’s a photo opp, I need to be in full makeup on The View’s couch.

See you all at the finish line! Hopefully someone will have a brush and some lip gloss.

Nancy Berk, Ph.D. is a psychologist, humorist, and comic. View an excerpt from her upcoming book, College Bound and Gagged: How to Help Your Kid Get Into A Great College Without Losing Your Savings, Your Relationship, or Your Mind.

My More Half-Marathon Challenge, Week 29: End Of The Line

Want the latest health tips? Click here to sign up for our fabulous weekly newsletter!