The Balancing Act

Just days after my family moved to Washington back in 2009, my daughters started their first day at their new schools. I went with Malia, my mother accompanied Sasha, and as I watched my girls climb into those big black cars filled with agents with guns and saw Sasha’s little face pressed against the window as her car pulled away, it hit me: What on earth were we doing?

What were Barack and I doing to our daughters? What were we doing to our marriage? Would they be OK? Would we be OK? At that moment, I made a promise to myself—and my girls—that I would do everything possible to make this disruption to their lives worthwhile.

I don’t have any magic solutions, but I can tell you that the best thing I ever did was lay out clear criteria for how I would engage as First Lady and try hard to stick to them. Before working on any issue, I ask myself three core questions: First, is this something I’m truly passionate about, something that truly inspires me or infuriates me? Second, can I have an impact here—can I really move the needle? And third, will my work on this issue further my husband’s vision and agenda? Because, let’s face it, no one elected me—they elected him—and I want to ensure that my work complements and enhances his.

For each of my core initiatives—addressing childhood obesity; inspiring young people to pursue higher education; supporting and honoring our troops, veterans and military families; and expanding educational opportunities for girls internationally—I feel that I can answer a firm yes to these three questions. And that gives me a sense of clarity in times when I feel anxious or overwhelmed or wonder whether I’m fulfilling that promise I made to myself and my daughters six years ago.

It’s still a constant balancing act. Like everyone else, I’m calibrating and recalibrating day by day as my girls grow up and I continue to grow into the role of First Lady. But I couldn’t be more honored to have this opportunity to serve our country, and I am so excited to be guest editor of More this month and tell you a little bit about the issues I’m working on and the extraordinary Americans I’ve had the privilege of meeting as First Lady.

Next: What Women Owe One Another

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