I got divorced at the age of 41. As romantic as the notion is to marry your high school sweetheart, I really wouldn’t recommend it, because by the time I reached midlife I hit a brick wall. I epitomized the cliché of the midlife crisis. I was like an animal that had been let out of the zoo.
I would force myself to date men who were my contemporaries, but there aren’t that many middle-aged men that I still find sexy. One guy showed up at my door for a blind date with a toupee on, which is very disconcerting.
I met a gorgeous Italian, but I realized very quickly that he wasn’t going to be a good lover because I didn’t like the way he kissed and bit me. I said, “You can’t be biting me. I have to go on camera.”
Dating much younger guys is better; you just can’t let yourself fall deeply in love. I’ve made that mistake. You can teach him some things about wine, restaurants, travel, sex, but at the end of the day he’ll take everything that he’s experienced with you and apply it to some woman who’s looking up to him with wide eyes.
The guy I’m dating now is the oldest younger guy I’ve been with. I met him at a concert, and I gave him my card—every single girl should have a business card, whether she has a business or not. He has a motorcycle, and I find it very sexy to ride on the back of it with him. We bike around, we go home, take a hot tub and make love. But we’re not living together yet—I still need some space so I can get into my Spanx without him watching me.
Fran Drescher, two-time Emmy nominee for The Nanny, has an HSN skin care line called FranBrand and is the founder of the cancer schmancer movement, a group that educates women about cancer prevention and treatment.
Originally published in the May 2010 issue of More.