Why the Deaf Ear, Feminists?

Infertility ought to be a feminist issue too

I could be a poster child for the feminist community.
I grew up in the 1970s listening to Marlo Thomas singing her heart out about Free to Be, You and Me! I adored Mary Tyler Moore.  I grooved on the fact that I was a beneficiary of the women’s movement.  I wrote junior high and high school term papers arguing for the Equal Rights Amendment.  I took Women’s Studies classes as electives at the University of Michigan. I was nearly thrown out of an employee town hall meeting at Chrysler HQ in 1990 for having the temerity to question the company’s vice chairman about a woeful lack of women in mangement. 
Support at home? I’ve had it in spades. My father and my mother equally encouraged me to reach for the stars, and I did. My fully-evolved husband shares the housework.  Without a peep from me he does the laundry, loads the dishwasher and makes a mean bed. 
And yet when looking for a little support from the feminist community, what did I get in return? The cold shoulder! We’re talking ICE cold.
Why have they turned a deaf ear? Seems they don’t like infertility, and guess what?  I’m an infertile woman.  Do I blame the women’s movement or feminism for my infertility. Hell no! Neither have anything to do with my wonky uterus. 
My infertility also had nothing to do with any biological clock or post-prime eggs.  In addition to pursuing my master’s degree, I first tried to conceive when I was 29. It was only after more than ten years and numerous doctor visits and both eastern and western treatments that I finally accepted that I’m among a statistically unfortunate group of people who are just plain infertile.  (I’m also left handed but I don’t blame that on the feminists either.)
So while I still vehemently defend the women’s movement and argue against narrow-minded or mysoginistic types who look to blame  infertility broadly on feminism, I still wonder why my feminist sisters have no interest in discussing or acknowledging the societal challenges that infertile women face. When I’ve pitched feminist blogs and women’s studies professors about the importance of providing support for women who struggle in silence with not being able to achieve their reproductive potential, the self-proclaimed feminists are all but busy washing their hair.
My sisters will embrace a woman’s right to choose whether they reproduce (which I fully support), but they could not, it seems, care less about those who face reproductive losses. Ironic, no?

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