Are All Men Fixated on Their You-Know-Whats?

Is anyone surprised that Herman Cain has “suspended his campaign?” With two women accusing him of sexual misconduct and one claiming an affair with him, he seems to have been busier than all the other political philanderers.

Patti Davis • columnist
patti davis image
Photograph: John Russo

Newt Gingrich must be ecstatic about Herman Cain's alleged dalliances and accusations of sexual misconduct; the former CEO of Godfather's Pizza has taken the attention off Gingrich's own past infidelities. John Edwards and Anthony Weiner should send Cain thank you notes – they look like ancient history.

What is it with these guys? Cain said in an interview regarding the accusations that, “a hundred thousand people could possibly come out.”

Wow, that’s one busy guy.

And then his attorney, Lin Wood, advised women to “think twice” before going public with these accusations.

I’m not sure which is worse at this point, the misconduct or the arrogance. During Weinergate, I mentioned my disgust to a man I know at the gym and got a response that made me wonder if I understand men at all.

“It’s really unfair,” this man said. “I understand what Weiner did. Every guy does stuff like that.”

“Wait a minute,” I said. “Every man photographs his penis and sends it out on-line?”

“Well, Weiner probably made a mistake using Twitter – I mean it’s so easy to mess up and not send it as a private message,” my gym buddy said. “But he was actually being loyal to his wife. He was trying to remain faithful and not do anything. Men need that kind of thrill. It’s just in our nature. He was trying to not actually cheat.”

He went on at length about how silly this society is -- I think he really meant the female portion of society -- for getting upset when all the guy did was send out a photo of his penis to a woman he’d never met. There are much worse things than that, he said.

Well, okay. No one is going to say that a man should be locked up with murderers because the memory card on his cell phone has photos of his genitals instead of the family picnic at the beach.

But still…

“I’ve been deeply in love,” this man went on. “And I still wanted to have sex with other women. It’s just sex. What’s the big deal? Sexual intercourse is what you have with someone you love. With the others, it’s just ….ing” You can fill in the blank.

The more he talked, the less attractive he became. And he’s a handsome man. But suddenly he wasn’t anymore. Where was his sensitivity toward others, specifically women? And most significantly, where was his maturity?

The conversation really depressed me. I wondered if I was completely naïve about men. What if he was right, and every man has a fixation with photographing his penis to avoid cheating?

I decided to continue my surveying of the sex pictures landscape by asking my ex-boyfriend, with whom I am on good terms.

“Can I ask you a personal question? Do you photograph your penis?”

“No,” he said.

“Would you tell me if you did?”


I pressed the point: “Well, how am I going to find out if this is a common underground practice that women are ignorant about? Someone from your tribe told me all of you do it, and you do it as a way to stay faithful. So you can have that rush of excitement that you are all apparently addicted to.”

“Huh,” he said, clearly contemplating this. “I guess there’s a certain logic to that. But honestly, I haven’t done it.”

I think I believe him. Then again, I’m not sure. Short of doing an actual scientific survey, I haven’t the foggiest idea how to uncover the truth. Maybe the subject should be tossed in with the other pertinent questions we ask a guy when things start to move along. Any legal troubles at the moment? STDs? Any kids out of wedlock? Stalker exes? Do you photograph your penis?

If he says no to the question, here are several options:

1.The political wife option: Believe him.

2. The somewhat enlightened option: Don't believe him, but let it go.

First Published December 7, 2011

Share Your Thoughts!


Curtis Neeley12.16.2011

This article was too well done for the title although the title was attention getting. Men are not all fixated on anything but I am fixated on my future wife and my children.
1. I am appalled that Internet wire communications are not regulated by the FCC.
2. I am incensed that in the United States no right to exclusively control original art exists.
Neeley v NameMedia Inc, et al (5:09-cv-05151)(11-2558)
Should address both of these issues as I DEMAND Google Inc and everyone else to STOP broadcasting my nude art.
BTW. Nudes not of my penis but mostly female figures.

I am dumbfounded by this mindset as well. I don't know why men think that women, especially strangers, are dying to see what their equipment looks like. There's been a big stink in my city over the death of a homeless man; without getting into the details of the event itself, he was known around town for starting fights in a local coffeehouse as well as getting into the elevator at the train station with women, and then once the doors would close, he would expose himself. When I mentioned the latter fact to a man while discussing the guy's overall behavior, he brushed the guy off as a "nuisance." Quite frankly I find that sort of behavior offensive. Consider the mindset of a woman who has been sexually assaulted - I don't think that some strange man exposing himself to her in the close confines of an elevator would be a "nuisance" - I think she might consider him more of a threat. Maybe some immature women find it funny, but I just think that sending a photo of genitalia is both immature and indicative of self-absorption.

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