10 Great Phyllis Diller One-Liners

The comedian died in her sleep at the age of 95 with “a smile on her face”

by Lesley Kennedy • MORE.com Reporter

Phyllis Diller, the queen of self-deprecating comedy, died August 20 at the age of 95, but her hilarious one-liners are sure to live on.

CNN reports that Diller died “peacefully in her sleep” and that her son “found her with a smile on her face,” according to Milt Suchin, her manager.

“She paved the way for everybody,” talent agent Fred Wostbrock tells CNN. “She paved the way for Joan Rivers, Chelsea Handler, Roseanne Barr, Ellen DeGeneres and all the women stand-up comics. She was the first and the best.”

Here are some of her best bits. Thanks for the laughs.

  • “Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.”
  • “A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”
  • “They say housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?”
  • “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”
  • “I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.”
  • “Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.”
  • “My photographs don’t do me justice—they just look like me.”
  • “You know you’re old when your walker has an airbag.”
  • “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”
  • “You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.”

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