I thought since it is a new year we should discuss a topic that every mother thinks about and no mother talks about—the silent but deadly competition between working moms vs. non-working moms. It takes place everywhere—it is the way we women are wired—we compare, we analyze, we question, we are thinkers.
Let me affirm that I do believe that some moms—working or not working—are completely satisfied and fulfilled in whatever role they have chosen, but, for the most part, I think every mom wants to climb over to the other side of the fence once in a while. So let’s take our gloves off and be real:
Why does this issue create so much tension? Do you think that the moms at “drop off” or the moms in the grocery store have it more together than you do? Have you ever turned green with envy because you are the main bread winner of your family and you would rather be in line at Starbucks with your “Bug A Boo” stroller on the way to the park? Would your life be much more relaxed this way?
Or are you the mom at the park with your “Bug A Boo” stroller, checking your blackberry wishing you were checking work messages instead of e-mailing a mom to schedule the next play-date?
Is there a balance that we moms can strike, or did we just get screwed when society said, “we can have/do it all?”
Here is something to think about: If we did open up to each other and showed some vulnerability as women and as friends, would we really care if the woman next to us was a working mom or a stay-at-home mom? I believe we all must feel the same way many times during the day, working, nonworking, and maybe even the spa-going, lunching moms. I think: Better to struggle TOGETHER as just “moms,” collectively. So let’s “bond” as moms and enjoy the journey.
Note to self: My kids give me much more long-term satisfaction and laughter than any of my clients ever do; even if the client does approve the video the first time I present it to them.