It strikes me every day. Every day in a different way.
I’m old; older.
I’m at the place where I no longer know the person looking back at me in the mirror. She’s a stranger.
Yet when I’m with my grandmother and father, I still have the familiar place. The granddaughter, daughter place. The young girl place. I think of my age and I feel immature. I haven’t grown up yet. I feel embarrassed. I’m a fraud.
I remember the person in the mirror. Who is she? Brown spots, wrinkles, moles, a hair on the chin. She is one of the blank faces. One of the people never noticed by the young.
When did this happen? When did my body abandon me? I still feel like the young girl with the big eyes & long curly hair.
It seems there is nothing I can do to see her again. The one I know. The one that I am. The one that I feel inside. No outfit, no hair-do, no make-up, no microderm or chemical peel, no surgery has brought her back.