Q: What’s worse than smelling like poop?
A: Smelling like someone else’s poop.
When I opened the door to Chip’s room this morning, I was greeted by a smell I can only describe as rancid. Chippy had a major blowout sometime during the middle of the night, and boy, was it a dandy. Messy and stinky combined. I’m used to changing diapers, but this one seriously made my eyes water.
When I was putting on Chip’s socks, I noticed the odor still lingering. I check Chip’s clothes and diaper, and can find no trace. I wash and sanitize my hands. We’re in a big hurry this morning, so I don’t think much more of it, and I herd the kids out the door to take them to daycare.
However, when I get home, it still stinks. I start my little quest to try to figure out where it was coming from. I check Chippy’s crib sheets. I empty the diaper pail and spray a healthy dose of air freshener in his room. This helps somewhat, although I’m still getting a whiff of something. In desperation, I lift up the cat’s tail to see if she has something stuck in there. It’s usually a good thing when I come up empty in this department, but this morning, it only left me more stumped.
As a last resort, I go into the other room to change my own clothes. It’s then that I look into the mirror and see the little brown streak on my nose. There are a couple of points about this that mortify me. First, I somehow got poo on my own nose without knowing about it. That in itself is gross beyond words. Secondly, I had conversations with both of the kids’ teachers today, as well as several parents, and no one bothered to tell me, “Hey, you have a little bit of crap on your nose.”
Rest assured, if I ever see you walking around with something on your face, I will let you know. Especially if it resembles poop in any way, shape or form. I’d rather be called a “brown-noser” any day than walk around with poo on my face.