It turns out what we’re passionate about is not always passion. And when push comes to shove, we’d rather go celibate than without some creature comforts. I canvassed my friends to see what they’d rather have than carnal knowledge. From a glass of cold milk to The Real Housewives of New Jersey, some of their answers made me laugh and others made me reconsider my own priorities. (I don’t want, I need Chapstick.)
As a single gal who prefers “relations” within the context of a “relation”-ship, I’ve gone without sex for months and even years. But before you light a candle for me, remember that during those dry spells, I still had access to all of the following human necessities:
Junk food. Whether it’s french fries, cheese, Chick-fil-A, or Ben & Jerry’s, junk food is always satisfying (unlike sex) and much easier to get on your lunch break.
TV. Sometimes guilty pleasure television is better than the other kind of guilty pleasure. Besides, watching True Blood is basically like having sex.
Air-conditioning. It has been over 100?F every day this week where I live. If I didn’t have air-conditioning, there is no way I would let any warm-blooded mammal near me, let alone on top of me, anyway.
Coffee. You will pry my morning coffee from my cold, dead hands.
A good book. Once I’ve started a really good book, I would probably go without oxygen if I had to in order to finish it. A book is a long-term escape. Sex is medium-term, if you’re lucky.
Wine. See coffee.
Friends. Call it chicks before ... you get the idea. Some of us would rather go a month without nookie than without the daily life support provided by our closest friends.
Blackberry or iPhone. I would rather go without PDA (public displays of affection) than my PDA (personal digital assistant). Don’t judge me. Until Betty Ford opens a center for it, it’s just a habit.
Shopping. I’m not a big shopper, but the thought of not being able to buy anything for a full month makes me break out in sweats. Good news for our economy; bad news for our boyfriends.
Family. As with friends, without the sanity provided by regular contact with my family, no one would probably even want to sleep with me.
Pets. I had one friend admit she’d rather go a month without kisses from her husband than kisses from her dog. Apparently her husband has stinkier breath.
Facebook? Magazines? Yoga? If you had to go without for a month, what would you choose over sex?