I am the mother of a sixteen year old junior in high school and a five year old in kindergarten, and times have changed in the last eleven years! As I walk my son to kindergarten yesterday for the first time I am nervous and excited, hoping he doesn't sense my awkwardness as we trudge the two blocks to school from where we had to park. He carries his Darth Vader lunch bag and Spiderman rolling backpack and he is as happy as can be. I will admit I wanted to cry because he is probably my last baby and this will the last first day of kindergarten that I will experience, but I held it together quite well. I was a nervous wreck all day but figured no calls from school or daycare meant he had a good day.
My problem lies here, I work a half hour away from home in another town therefore I was not able to pick him up from school his first day. I felt horrible all day, it was his first day and I should have been there to greet him and make sure his day went well, but like a majority of mom now adays I must work and let his daycare take over as a second mom. I am grateful to have a wonderful daycare family and he loves them as much as me sometimes I believe. Still I was torn between feeling the need to be with my five year old little man and making the money to pay for the daycare itself. I was fortunate enough to be able to drop him off at least, even though it meant I was an hour late to work.
I am sure I am not the only mom who felt like I should have been there for my son like my mom had been there for me back in the stone age when I was entering school. My mother was a stay at home mother and worked from home, she was there to take me to and from school and attend all of my field trips as I grew up. I feel guilty that I am not able to do that for my children, but I realize that things are different now and my children do not really know any different. As the new school year begins how many other moms out there feel torn?