I was reminiscing with a friend last night of the simple long-gone days when I was somehow fine with just a black bra, a white bra, and a nude bra (and corresponding black, white, and nude bottoms) to keep me decent. Then at some point along the way, the job of keeping me decent began to require more science, more complicated equipment, more high-tech trickery. Now my lingerie drawer has power panties and convertible bras, seamless undies and wicking wonders, remote-controlled ticklers, and cellulite smoothers. And while my underwear rises to the challenge of supporting my body bits, my underwear drawer has its own support system—a whole ‘nother drawer full of underwear accessories.
Clear Bra Extender
I went for a bra fitting a while back and discovered that a) I was a bigger boob than I thought I was, and b) if your bra fits well, you won’t even know it’s there—except for the fact that clothes sit better and look neater. My boobs are like mood rings and they change size depending on my hormone levels. To ensure an always-perfect fit and to extend the life of my bras, I keep Braza’s pliable clear bra extender in my back pocket. (Okay, in my drawer.) Great gift for a pregnant pal.
Bra(g) (Bra Bag)
My very first bra cost me $6.99 at Penney’s store in Ireland, and I really got my money’s worth because my mother made me show it to all the neighbors when we got home. Lately I’ve been spending at least $60 (yes, at least) and I just don’t seem to get the same return on my investments. (The neighbors have no interest.) I need to start taking better care of my boob-warmers, especially the padded ones that enlarge my chest to shrink my belly. This Bra Bag—or rather, Bra(g)—makes packing and protecting my bras easy, so that my spendy bras can, as the Bra(g)-folk say, “Travel in Style ... Arrive in Form!”
Hook-Up Bra Clip
This clear bra clip converts any bra in your rotation to a cross-back style so that you can buy one less bra this summer. It’s the clear choice for awkward strap-revealing tanks and racer-back tops. Added “perk” is that by cinching the bra strips, it perks your boobs up!
I went through a phase of buying bras to match my clothes in the same way chronic bridesmaids dye shoes to match their gowns. I’m not a huge fan of the tacky clear bra straps, but I like the idea of swapping out the straps on one reliable bra to make it work for any outfit. Enter Strapits. These genius clips allow you to attach your favorite ribbon or trim to your reliable strapless or convertible bra. The starter package includes your choice of clips and reversible ribbon. Then you can choose from velvet, lace, beaded, animal print, and even gold-studded ribbons and trims to vary your look.
There’s no point in me spending all my paychecks on pretty bras if I don’t have pretty boobage to display in the pretty bras. There’s also no sense in me having the face of an angel and the neck of a turtle as I age (rapidly). It’s a no-brainer that I should continue the path of my fancy face creams down into my boobage area, yet for some reason I always stop short at the chin. I’ll never have serious cleavage (unless I finally hit that growth spurt), but I’m pretty sure I’ll have serious creasage, from aging, sleeping on my side, and sun damage. These self-adhesive and reusable silicone decollete pads will fight and smooth creasage ... and all while I get my sleepage.
Ever been on your way out the door when you catch your reflection in the hall mirror and all you see is boobage? I know that the hall mirror never lies, so I often end up back in the closet rooting for a less revealing outfit and then accessories to match said less revealing outfit. I was thinking of just covering the bloody hall mirror, until I came across the boob tube by Miss Oops. Made of stretchable lace, this modern day bandeau gives you just the right amount of coverage without the added bulk of another layer. I’m keeping a stash next to the umbrella stand in the hallway.
Low rise jeans are flattering in front but image-shattering in back. Cute as I may think my derriere is, I’d rather not have the people sitting behind me in the bar passing judgment on it. Do I reach for practical pants? No, I reach for a pair of Miss Oops’ dainty “Jaks.” (The name is a combination of “jeans” and “crack.”) Jaks is a band of stretch lace worn over pants and under shirts. It looks like I’m wearing a lace camisole layered underneath a top when of course I’m just poly-filling cracks.
Admit it, you’ve used Krazy Glue to keep that plunging neckline in place—I know it’s not just me. Well, ditch the glue gun and instead arm yourself with these clever double-stick strips that hold just about EVERYTHING in place—works for skin to fabric, fabric to fabric, and maybe even skin to skin. (I wouldn’t be surprised.) Designed to let you alter the width of tape for all your fashion fixes.
For all the bags of pretty undies I drag along with me when I travel, I somehow find myself wanting to wear the same threadbare pair over and over. The hotel soap is not exactly kind and gentle so I carry a few leaves of fresh pear-infused soap in my cosmetic bag so that I can delicately wash my delicates. It dissolves quickly and rinses easily. Twenty soap leaves.
I laugh at the word “balls.” I laugh out loud at “bra balls.” Yep, I’m thirteen, and I did indeed buy two bra balls just so I can get a good belly laugh every time I yell out “Where the hell are my bra balls? Who took my bra balls?” when I’m loading up the washing machine. Kicks aside, I bought these “bra savers” because I need them. They secure my boob-hoisters so they don’t get battered or misshapen in the wash, because unless I’m in a desperate fix, I’m too lazy to hand wash my delicates. Saving bras also saves money: new bras are not cheap—nor is armpit surgery due to dangerous warped underwires.
Instead of daring to go bare for your teeny, tiny undies this summer, why not dare to grow hair? Just Kittyng offers several grooming kits for women who want to get in touch with their creative (and hairy) side. With Bikini Art shaping stencils you can shape your “do” into a lightning bolt, a star, an arrow (so there’s no need to stop for directions!) or a heart––okay, I can’t resist—if you fancy a “heart-shaped box.” The kit includes waxing strips, soothing gel, symbols, a comb, tweezers, and scissors.