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10 Movies Sandra Bullock Should See Before Letting Jesse Come Back

Rumor has it she misses her cheating ex. These DVDs should scare her straight.

By Susan Toepfer

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Wacky as it seems, reports are circulating that our favorite Oscar winner, Sandra Bullock, just might make up with her cheating spouse, Jesse James. Yep, you remember him right-the guy who not only bedded Michelle "Bombshell" McGee and other topless types while his wife was off filming, but managed to get photographed in Nazi-admiring poses as well. "Sandra has made it clear that Jesse is the love of her life," a friend told PopEater, adding that the actress "misses him and their life together every single day." How can our Sandy not realize that, despite the Monster Mechanic’s apparent charm, he’s clearly a compulsive serial cheater who can’t be trusted with her heart and home? Before she does anything drastic, we want to send her a CARE package from Netflix: 10 movies that each contains its own instructive Sandygram, warning of danger ahead.
Photo by Chris Hatcher / PR Photos

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

A British singleton attracts a suitable man (Colin Firth) but gets distracted by her dashing, devilish boss (Hugh Grant). Sandygram: We all love the bad boys, but we’re much better off with the dork in the holiday sweater.

The Sound of Music (1965)

The family’s oldest daughter kisses a local boy whose true heart throb is Hitler. Sandygram: Learn the Liesl lesson—the cuter he looks in a Nazi uniform, the more you can’t trust him.

Pollock (2000)

Take out the masterpieces of modern art and waddaya got? A long-suffering wife and a spouse who can’t keep his pants zipped. Sandygram: Sometimes they don’t stop cheating ‘til they’re dead.

Fatal Attraction (1987)

Crazy women who screw married men don’t scare off easily. Or, in the memorable words of Glenn Close’s Alex Forrest, "This is not gonna stop. It keeps going on and on." Sandygram: Given Jesse’s taste, at least one of his exes is bound to kill a bunny.

Carousel (1956)

Smalltown girl marries carnival barker who soon becomes a layabout. But she sticks by her man even while admitting (in song) that she knows better: "Common sense may tell you that the ending will be sad…" Sandygram: If Julie Jordan jumped off the Empire State Building, would you do the same? Just because she listened to her heart, not her head, doesn’t mean you should.

Heartburn (1986)

The movie made from Nora Ephron’s revenge novel-loosely based on her second husband Carl Bernstein’s philandering-is notable for showing, in comic extreme, just how clueless a wife can be when it comes to her mate’s cheating heart. Sandygram: Horndogs are really good at hiding the evidence—and at taking advantage of women who believe in them.

A Star Is Born (1937, 1954, 1976)

There’s a reason they keep remaking this melodrama about a female star who overshadows her husband: In Hollywood, those marriages keep happening. But at least Norman Maine had the courtesy to drown himself rather than take up with the first handy tattooed body. Sandygram: Marriages where the wife gets all the acclaim are often doomed.

Sex & The City (2008)

Carrie and Mr. Big plan a wedding…and he doesn’t show. Sandygram: Men with commitment issues are men with commitment issues…even if they do finally make it to City Hall.

The First Wives Club (1996)

Tossed aside for younger models, three middleaged friends plot revenge-only to abandon the plan once they learn to feel better about themselves. Sandygram: Lots of times, guys just aren’t worth the trouble.

Halloween, I through 11 (1978-2010)

Psychotic bad seed Michael Myers returns and returns and returns. Sandygram: Duh! Don’t open that door. NEXT: Top 50 Cheaters of All Time

First Published Thu, 2010-07-29 09:21

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