The View cohost said Andrews’s stalker could have dodged prison time if only he’d waited to see the ESPN anchor wearing "next to nothing" on Dancing with the Stars. A tearful on-air apology followed.

"She was clinically obese," Walters has said of Jones, whom she’s criticized for not immediately fessing up to having gastric bypass surgery. Jone wrote off Walters as an "adulterer."

The Fox News commentator ticked off the silver-fox actor by questioning whether funds pledged in his post-tsunami telethon would actually help disaster victims. "This is your chance to put your considerable money where your considerable mouth is," Clooney said.

Mama Grizzly was none too amused when Letterman made a sexual joke about one of her daughters (not the underage one, he insisted; Palin didn’t buy it). She accepted his eventual mea culpa "on behalf of young women."

She accused him of using the 2006 Miss USA scandal for publicity; he fired off insults like "fat pig" and "degenerate." The school-yard showdown continued long after Barbara Walters warned them: Recess is over.