The view from Costa Rica
The name Cougar to me describes one of the jungles most beautiful cats. The cougar is strong, fast, smart and beautiful. Not a bad thing for any woman to be coined. In fact I’d like that name.
The first time I heard the name Cougar being used it was to describe a female family member that had recently been seeing some younger men. We were at a family reunion of sorts. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes but I was happy for her. Another woman in my clan was speaking about her as if she had started dating her high school sons best friend- not a 30 something handsome young male with a six pack that would send most of us back to church, running.
You have to understand, I have lived in Costa Rica for 22 years. When the rest of our family visits us here they hail from mostly big cities, currently, Las Vegas, San Diego, Dallas, Sequim, Minneapolis and Miami, where I come from. Yes, I admittedly have missed some cultural revolutions in the last two decades but I have grown wiser just the same.
Costa Rica is blessed with beautiful women. Lots of them. I use to tell single girlfriends to bring their own men with them as there weren’t to many single guys here for them to choose from. The single men were not looking for women like them anyhow-I hate to bundle the men into one package – but hey- that was the way it was going –
For many years men have come here to enjoy the natural fruits of this country – some on secret missions with their friends to "fish, golf" whatever. The business of prostitution has been legal here- more controlled and not as brutal and drug reinforced as it is in the United States. Costa Rica is a small country and is very careful when it comes to sexual acts with minors- which is great, but they also don’t take prostitution the way most people do up in the northern America’s.
In my experience it was normal and of course quite comical to see a 50ish man with a beautiful young girl. Some unable to communicate at all with Spanish/ English language barriers. A few married these young girls, many of course did not. I tend to not be bothered by any of this as it appears to me to be fairly safe down here. So why are women in the States enraged now at the term Cougar which appears to be a new trend. This implies that an older woman is able to attract and keep younger men in a relationship. How is this a sin. Men have done this for hundreds of years- probably back to the CroMagnon/Neanderthal cave dweller – I am sure the cave man did not seek the gray haired woman his own age to pitch over his shoulder and haul her off to his cave around the corner for a night super powered night of sex- no-no no …he picked the lithe brunette, the beautiful blonde or the sultry red head….It has been this way forever. Why can men do what women can not?
The way I see it looking back from my jungle location- we women have really changed. We are in our forties and fifties and rocking tight jeans, still wearing heels when we feel like it, not afraid to trip the light fantastic as most of us did often in our past. We don’t shop in the little boutiques our own mothers shopped in- we don’t wear matching pantsuits, we will die in blue jeans whatever style is fashionable and so be it. We have morphed the term of middle age into someone in their 50’s and 60’s- 40’s just aren’t old.
So if you do find yourself divorced or single at this age-get yourself into the gym, eat right and exercise 6 days a week- catch up your fashion sense, read what your sisters are saying at More and go for it. Whether it be for a night of fun ( of course well protected as the cubbies might not be so smart themselves) or a romance, whether he be in his 30’s or 60’s get out and enjoy your life. Don’t listen to the ones that point fingers – do your own thing with unabashed passion and zing. By now you know what is right and what is wrong. Enjoy your mind, your body and your experiences. Love can come in many shapes and forms.
You have gotten this far, be sure you can share it with someone worth it! Meow Mama!