The Midlife Love Tide Is Turning

Something is happening.  I think the worm may be turning.

A scant year or two ago, I was thinking a lot about being single in midlife and wondering mightily why so many of us YEARNED for that special person in our life, but continually struck out  Men, women, didn’t matter, no one was having any luck, not even a glimmer.  Like all roads and Rome, any conversation with my chronically single friends led to this subject. 

‘When pigs fly’, or ‘a snowball’s chance of sipping a tall cool one in hell’ described our beliefs about the chance any of us would actually pair off with someone for the long haul.  Someone would describe their latest experience with the flakes on Match.com, or slippage would occur with an ex for the 3rd time (with the same results as first and second time) and we would despair. We would hurriedly reassure them (ourselves?!) that there just weren’t any good people left out there. 

But secretly, each worried, ‘What is wrong with ME???’

Then suddenly, long time single friends and exes, me included, are sharing news that they’re in love, or moving in together, or engaged. No one has mentioned the ‘M’ word yet, but holy cow, at the rate things are going it won’t be long. 

A year ago, a 48 year old guy friend reconnected with an old girlfriend from college and before I knew it, he had taken a new job in California and she was moving herself and her teenage son across country to live with him.   Yikes, from confirmed bachelor to live in girlfriend and moody teenager…wow, that’s, uh, real, I thought.

Then a 56 year old girlfriend met a guy online and after 6 months announced she was moving in with him.  That’s a little too real, I thought.  It got more real…last week, she told me they were engaged!  She has a ring and everything!

The most real is an ex-boyfriend I’ve kept up with who, within 8 weeks, met someone, had her move in, and is calling her his new ‘partner’.  OK, that one stung a bit after the 3 years I labored in our relationship.  But, whatever.

There are a few more stories, my own affair of the heart with Tall Slow Talkin’ Texan being one. Maybe the people ‘out there’ haven’t changed, but we have. 

Or our needs and expectations have. 

Which is it do ya think?

First Published Fri, 2009-07-03 12:47

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