We Hear You - April issue

Readers respond to the April issue

by More.com Editors

Sucker for Sandwiches
Thanks, More! Can I just tell you that I have NEVER liked to cook? But for years, as I raised my family, I felt compelled to pore over (and try) hundreds of recipes in various "homey" magazines to demonstrate my domesticity and child-nurturing abilities. And NOW… I loved More’s April issue for the articles, ads, fashions, advice, thought provoking stimuli, AND the 9 wonderful sandwich recipes. Perfect!
Joan Bratcher
Davis, Oklahoma

Hope. Again
I have been so disappointed in MORE for the last year, because of their empty and silly articles. The magazine has been offensive to middle-aged women’s intelligence, to say the least. This issue, after the nonsense of the first half, was filled with 8 really good, informative articles! Thank you! Here are the really good ones: "Finance", "Switched at Birth", "Maria Gunnoe’s Coal Country Crusade", "What Price Happiness?", "To Russia with Love", the "20 Years of Great Health" empowered patient collection of articles, and "Loving a Lion." Please keep up with this, and return MORE to its original greatness. I had pretty much given up on MORE. Now, I believe there is hope again.
Joanna L. Trusdle

Substance Over Sex
I’m sorry, but I have never understood the fascination with Dana Delaney. I never got why men were all gaga over her, let alone why More readers should be. She is not particularly distinguished as an actor, in her looks or in any other aspect of her life. And somehow she is like George Clooney because she remains single? What was her last great humanitarian effort? Or great movie? Instead of that ridiculous shot of Delaney looking like she had just finished one of her marathon orgasm sessions, I would so much rather have seen Catherine Keener on the cover. Ms. Keener is one of Hollywood’s finest, most interesting and least lauded actors. There are plenty of cover-worthy women over 40. Please choose substance over sex next time!
Leslie Nassar
Beaverton, Oregon

Dressing Our Daughters
As a 72 year old woman, still attractive, full of energy and loving life, I was heartened to read "Being Stacy’s Mom" by Karen Karbo. I have two beautiful young granddaughters and am concerned not only with the way I see mothers dress in competition with their daughters but also mothers’ willingness to dress their daughters like hookers. Small girls and preteens don’t need to be partially clothed – it’s not cute! It conveys sexuality when these children don’t even know what sex is! I know several young women who hide in sweats, no makeup, [and their] hair pulled tight in ponytails so as not to compete with the "Hot Mamas" in too tight jeans, 3 inch heels, tattoos, boob implants, and hair too long for their age. Grow up ladies, trust me, try aging gracefully and your daughters will thank you for it – You’re their Mother, not their girlfriend.
Lynne Hudson

Stuck to One Side of the Aisle?
Thank you Katherine DePalma (p.18) for your April letter. I too believe that MORE only celebrates the achievements of liberal women. I enjoy many of the articles but find trouble renewing my subscription because the magazine does not represent the range of interests of women over 40. Your example of MORE’s bias, Michelle Obama, appeared yet again in the issue which carried your letter. The article touting her arms as the standard to which those of us 40-somethings should aspire because of her "commitment to the gym" was conspicuous in its one-sidedness. Since when do only well-toned arms equal fitness? Why not credit other over 40 women who manage to tone all over… like Runner’s World did with Sarah Palin?
Anne M. Knab
Evans, Georgia

In Praise of Gunnoe
I was late in reading my latest MORE and just read the article on Maria Gunnoe’s crusade against the coal mining practices in West Virginia. I am originally from Western Pennsylvania and everybody in the area knows about the horrors of working in the coal mines. Yesterday afternoon I turn on the news station and there is the latest tragedy. A coalmine explosion and as of this morning, 25 men are dead. This company had hundreds of violations and had done nothing about them and they were still in business! Pay the fines and continue sending men down in those mines every day knowing that that they had done nothing more to help prevent their deaths! Bless Maria Gunnoe! Keep up the good work and don’t let anyone still your voice!
Dana Capels

Keep the Core
I was ready to let my MORE subscription lapse, disappointed that your focus was on how women look, like all other magazines. Then the April edition arrived with the focus on character rather than appearance. I enjoyed the Happiness article, Switched at Birth, and the 2nd Act short stories of mid-life changes. I’m going to renew my subscription with a plea to keep the core of MORE on the heart and spirit of women, more than the shape of our surfaces.
Heather DeLapp
Placerville, California

Feet First
I liked your article on feet, but you mainly discussed triage methods for people bent on treating their feet poorly. At the ripe old age of 42, I swallowed my pride and began doing three things: wearing shoes one-half to one size larger, wearing swanky European leather orthopaedic insoles, and wearing fewer high heels. The good news is, the first two things are unnoticeable to anyone but me, and flats are an actual fashion choice instead of a compromise. I can wear my insoles in nearly any pair of closed-heel shoes, including high heels. To my amazement, my feet not only feel fab at the end of my day, which includes a long subway/train commute, but my back, knees and posture are in good shape, too. Small change = big swing in my step.
Janna Baty
New Haven, Connecticut

Controversial Coal Mining
As a native West Virginian, I am surprised and actually a little irritated by the article featuring Maria Gunnoe. Like her, several of my family members depend on the coal mining business for their livelihood. Mountaintop removal is practiced here but the aftermath is not as she has portrayed. In reality, the mountains are left in picturesque condition. If it weren’t for the mining industry, most of Gunnoe’s town would be unemployed and probably deserted. The United States needs coal. West Virginia can supply that coal. Instead of living in anger, fear and paranoia, why not put that energy into helping with the reclamation projects that are constantly ongoing? West Virginia is a coal mining state. Fighting that is almost a personal attack to other West Virginians.
Shelley Rowe
Barboursville,West Virginia

Rich, Rural Living
I identified myself as a feminist as a teen in the 1970s and was intrigued to find the discussion about feminism and happiness in Naomi Wolf’s article What Price Happiness Then I came to the phrase “people gaze at me blankly for a beat, as if I have just gotten off the bus from a small town in a forgotten agricultural region.” Isnt it time to give up this old, out-dated stereotype of women living in rural communities? I know many multi-faceted women living rich lives in farming communities. They know a lot about building lives that are happier than most. Perhaps Ms. Wolf and her friends need to get out more? I’d be happy to introduce her to some of the talented, thoughtful women who are my friends. Just say when!
Joy Landis
Mason, Michigan

Good Examples
I enjoyed reading the article written by Leslie Enguss (April 2010) as I could relate personally to everything she wrote. I, too, have multiple sclerosis and went for years trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I also had a husband who assumed it was all in my head. After my diagnosis he told me one day he thought I would be in a wheelchair in 3 years. That was 10 years ago, no wheelchair in my future, and a new supportive husband that I, too, met on Match.com! I think [Enguss] and I are good examples of women taking charge of their health and happiness.
Pam Stallings
Titus, AL


First Timer
I just picked up More for the first time. I’m 56, politically and socially progressive and thought it your magazine would be a fit, but one pattern in the April 2010 issue puzzles me. Help me understand why and when it became acceptable, even cool, to flaunt your sex life? So, who thinks we care about Dana Delany’s sex life? You pulled out her quote about "a lot of orgasms!" And, Karen Karbo tells us all about her "active sex life" in Being Stacey’s Mom. Can you imagine what we (women) would have to say about a man telling the world he has "a lot of orgasms" – presumably in a single day. We’d think he was an insecure jerk. Is this " the new feminism?" Really unattractive, if it is. It’s about as attractive as someone telling me they make a load of money – boastful and arrogant. Civilized discourse takes one more hit.
Alecia Stevens
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Bipartisan Dialogue
"What Price Happiness?" – kudos to Naomi Wolf. But how on earth did such a conservative piece end up in your left-wing-media publication? Did an intern slip it through while the editors were busy gushing over some celebrity? Sarah Palin certainly epitomizes everything Wolf talks about – an accomplished self-made woman, who puts family first, stands up for her principles and deals with whatever life throws her way without all that New Yorky whining and complaining. When are you going to feature her on your cover? I dare you.
Donna Feldman
Boulder, Colorado

"The Good Doctor"
I find it such a shame that when a good, ethical, empathetic doctor attempts to practice in a way that our government can’t control, the patients are the ones to suffer. Dr. Dupree created a wonderful surrounding for women’s breast care and I only hope that somehow she can continue the care that she is so selflessly providing in the setting she has created.

On another note, I want to congratulate the staff at More on a wonderful publication. Recently, I used the information in one of your past issues, "The Endangered Uterus" to locate a physician in my area for a second opinion regarding my scheduled open abdominal hysterectomy. As a result of that second opinion, a single incision laparascopic hysterectomy was performed. Thanks to your magazine, I was informed and able to make the right decision for me. I look forward to reading your magazine each month!
Chris H.
Amherst, Ohio

Writing, Reading, Sharing
My friend tore the page out of your magazine and mailed it to me. She read my book, "Fabulous over Forty" and was telling me I must enter your Beauty Search Contest. I know if she had not been so "pushy", I would have not entered. It has to do with my mother saying to me, "Don’t be vain." So I have to look at this as helping others and not just entering a "Beauty Contest".

I love this magazine. I want to write stories, read stories and share my information with others. My email is just to say thank you. I love the way the magazine has brought me into this new community. Looking forward to more from More.
Josie Slaton Terry
Riverdale, Georgia

Surprised
I have a been a subscriber since Day One of More and have always loved the magazine. I sometimes think the clothes you showcase are a bit pricey and not the norm for most people, but I do enjoy the magazine. I was VERY disappointed in the cover picture this month – April. Dana Delaney looks like a SLUT and it is very distasteful. I am not a prude, but think Dana would have looked so much better in an evening gown or a spring dress. It is just not up to your usual standards. It really took me by surprise because this is not something you would normally do. Perhaps you were going for playful, but there are many other ways to do that. Dana and your readers deserve better.
Krista Reynolds
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Take Pause for Menopause
OUTSTANDING April issue. Each and every story was relevant, poignant and satisfying. Keep up the great editing and selections. As a 60 year old, I would prefer a bit more focus on the post menopausal challenges we have with both sex and beauty issues. After 40 up until menopause, most women still look great, it’s after menopause that your looks, figure and sexuality really plummet! Help!!
Linda Mattison
Marlton, New Jersey

Love, Loyalty and the Limelight
I was surprised by your choice of long-term Hollywood couples. Mainly, because several (at least four) of them became couples while at least one of them was married to someone else. I would think More women, would like a little more fidelity from their role models.
Tina Thompson
Youngstown, Ohio

Finally, Acceptance
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I read Leslie Egnuss’ account of having MS. Her journey so closely echoed my own. I too have a neuroimmune disease often dismissed as hysteria or depression. The GPs I saw took me seriously, but more than one specialist falsified my testing or belittled my signs and symptoms. When confronted by my doctor the excuse was there were too many thing wrong with me. Duh, it’s a brain disease. I lost my career and my life. But I put one foot in front of the other. My journey through the Social Security disability system was a five-year nightmare. The lawyer I finally hired was astonished saying I should have been approved on my first application. My family let me down, but my therapist held fast. Therapy didn’t alter the course of my disease one jot, but I learned acceptance. I’m now engaged to a man who accepts my "dain bramage," and the quirks it adds to our life provide a gentle current of amusement. In the words of Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never give up."
K. Duprey
Columbia, South Carolina

Too Strong a Dose of Dana
Not only a cover, but pages and pages of Dana Delaney rolling around in rumpled pink sheets. Why? Maybe she’s fascinating, but I couldn’t get past the icing. No, thank you.
Ruth Beedle
Kansas City, Missouri

Ring a Bell?
An enjoyable piece "Being Stacy’s Mom”, which has to ring a bell with all 40-something Mom’s with teenage daughters. The moral of the story in my mind, know when to accept your age gracefully. But right on the opposing page: and advertisement with a well known celebrity whose image is airbrushed beyond absurdity. An irony not missed I am sure, by many of your readers.
Sandra Richardson
Falmouth, Maine

Family is Relative
I am an adoptee and two stories in the April issue really resonated with me— "Switched at Birth" and "To Russia with Love". What I would like to say to Kay Rene is that although I am sure the entire situation is a challenge, the family you grew up with IS your family. There are many ways to make a family and genes do not always make it wonderful. Although I have united with and cherish my birth mother, I had a wonderful adopted family and wouldn’t change having all of them just they way they are. There is enough love for everyone.
Jill Wayne
Denver, Colorado

Take Away the Risque
I’ve been a subscriber of More magazine for several years. I always look forward to receiving the latest copy in the mail; however, this month I was more than a little surprised by the cover featuring Dana Delaney. I think the cover is inappropriate for a respected magazine like More. Her pose would be more appropriate on the cover of a men’s magazine. And, as far as her becoming the female version of George Clooney, she might as well put that to rest. He is a respected actor and certainly not the exhibitionist that Ms. Delaney has portrayed on
the cover and within the pages of More magazine. My April issue will not find its usual home on my coffee table this month.
B. J. Short
Eugene, Oregon

Judging the Cover
I am appalled by the cover picture on the April 2010 More magazine issue. This picture is totally tasteless. What were you thinking?
Lela Russell
Abilene, Texas

 
Opposites Clash
Thank you for your inspiring April 2010, page 57 article "The Power of Micro Change". It reminds me that above all else, in order to be labeled successful a majority of people must make more money for themselves, pity the influence and the social outcome. The apparent bottom line for Carin Rubenstein is to make a big splash in the bucket of greed and not humble charity. One can only imagine her lonely world where she is queen and I am her opposite— proudly below pheasant status. Because I care about humanity. Luckily, I’m not the only one.
Joyce Rinehart
Ocala, Florida

Excerpting Excellence
Thank you for printing the excerpt, " Loving a Lion", from Norris Church Mailer’s memoir, A TICKET TO THE CIRCUS. It was like reading a chapter from my own marriage. The heartache, pain, and love resonated with me as Norris described her journey with Norman. What particularly resonated with me was when Norris wrote, "I couldn’t live with a man who had so little respect for me and whom I couldn’t trust." Yet, in spite of it all, she still loved him and the life they had created and had no real desire to leave it all in spite of the pain. This dichotomy is something I have struggled with after 17 years of marriage. My husband also is attracted to older, overweight women although he fondly calls me, "his trophy wife." People always say, "Leave him," or "You deserve better." What they don’t understand is something Norris explained beautifully and honestly in her memoir. My only hope is to mirror the grace and fortitude Norris displayed through the last 17 years of her marriage to Norman. . . The rich, complex stories you publish continue to amaze me. I am honored to be a loyal subscriber.
Angela Lam Turpin
Santa Rosa, CA

Taking Aim
I have subscribed to More since its charter issue. I really liked the focus on women over 40 and the concept that they were indeed beautiful as they were. I also appreciated your focus on issues confronted by women during that time in their lives. I have shared the magazine with my friends as a gifts because I felt they, too, would appreciate the magazine’s focus and indeed they did.

I was dismayed to note that with your latest issue, you’ve changed your focus from women over 40 to "For Women of Style & Substance." This sounds much more like Town and Country and not something targeted for all women over 40. I and my friends relate to over 40 issues, we don’t relate to "Style & Substance" as we’re too busy surviving to have style and substance. I will let the subscription run, however, you’ve probably lost me for the renewal and certainly for the gifts…
Anita D. Wilkerson
Gaithersburg, Maryland

Having an Illness. And Having to Prove It
Thank you so much for printing Leslie Egnuss’ article regarding her MS diagnosis. I had almost the identical symptoms in the years before my own diagnosis of MS. Although I am married to a police officer instead of a doctor, I received the same comments from my husband, family, friends and doctors. One doctor even told me that I needed to focus less on myself and more on taking care of my husband. He told me to cook dinner, clean house, and be a good wife to my husband. Little did he know that I was the bread winner in my marriage, working full time, taking care of 3 kids, and taking care of most of the household work, including laundry, cooking, and cleaning! I was finally diagnosed when the MRI showed plaques and the spinal tap was positive for O bands. The neurologist I had at the time called me on the phone to let me know I had MS. He was very nonchalant. Gratefully, I have a great neurologist now but it’s still an uphill battle when you are a woman
with a chronic progressive disease. It is still very much a man’s world especially in the medical field.
Marie Barnes
Gilroy, California

Mismatch
This is a very unusual act for me… to contact the editor of a magazine I subscribe to…. but I am compelled to tell you how much I dislike the April cover. I would not have purchased it on a newsstand and only have as I subscribe. The photo does not seem to match your audience, the content of your magazine ("For Women of Style and Substance") nor Dana.
Lou Gramling
Augusta, Georgia

Wrinkles and All
I just opened the most recent issue of More magazine and read your editorial piece on the angst of feminism. Then, directly below that, I read the notification of the next beauty contest. Getting any sense of irony?

I wouldn’t mind your concept of a beauty contest if it actually featured real women over forty and celebrated their beauty — pudginess, gray hair, wrinkles and all, but more importantly, their experience, their wisdom and their outward signs of survival. As I recall, your last beauty contestants were chosen because they managed to look twenty years younger. I resent the constant emphasis on anti-aging under the guise of supporting older women. The magazine contradicts itself with every issue.

My fiftieth birthday looms this year, and I’d like to feel as if I have a place in the world instead of feeling elbowed out because I don’t look twenty anymore or fit into a size six.
LeAnn Keenan
Harlan, Iowa

 

First Published Thu, 2010-03-18 15:39

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http://www.more.com/member-voices/your-letters/we-hear-you-april-issue