We Hear You - May issue

Readers respond to the May issue

by More.com Editors

Most Importantly: Love
Thanks Lesley, Your letter clearly hits the chord with me. Like you but a little older, almost 60, my family got divorced too when I was 7. Being an only had its further difficulties, no siblings to share the pain, and uncertainty that crept in during the day and night. My mother, educated at both Smith and Wellesley, an editor and writer but never truly a parent, taught me "fit yourself for something". That was her gift. But my special aunt Merle taught me about nature, giving, and, most importantly, love. I guess the message is there are others in our lives who share their gifts to help us become whole. Best,
Anna S. Whitcomb

Flying the Flag for Fabulous Women (Quirks and All)
Dear Heavens! I am vindicated, validated and elated. I am not alone in the universe and there are more sisters out there like me who can’t remember the vast majority of their life! It has been the bane of my existence that I cannot remember family incidents, time lines or so many of the events of my life – never mind the mundane such as the year children and family members were born, grandchildren’s ages and sometimes middle names! I could go on and on (if I could remember what about). I love MORE, it was a good day when I picked up the first issue, whenever that was. Keep the flag flying for all us fabulous women, with all our interesting quirks, we are an infinitely diverse bunch who will provide an unending, fascinating subject matter. Gratefully,
Susan Fallon

Womanhood, Motherhood, Passion and Courage
Hi Lesley, The article on Mother, Goosed was hilarious. It made my day. I particularly liked the way Caroline Rhea feels about having her baby after 40. I too feel the same. . . . Just like she says, I feel the love of my life is really my daughter.

Also, your article on The Most Dangerous Women in the World struck a chord with me. I am amazed to know that there are so many women from different countries of the world, especially third world countries, that fight for women’s causes. I thought my birth country was the worst to treat women as second class citizens. But reading this made me realize that these are worse. Like the article points out many women don’t know their rights. But I also believe that there are many educated women, who know their rights, but will not fight it. Mainly because of family pressures, culture and background of the society they live in. Many will not take or make the initiative. I am glad these countries have these kinds of women, made me feel proud being a woman. I hope that other third world countries will follow these great women to make the world a better place for future generations to come.

Thank you for More and I really like May issue better than the April one. I hope that the next issue is as good as this one. Thank you.
Meshe Nair
Maple Grove, Minnesota

Spectacular Talent
Gawd, I wish someone would hire Jamie Lee Curtis to act – with Lucie Arnaz, Carrie Fisher and Lorna Luft. They’re spectacularly talented women who deserve more than children’s books, memoirs, yogurt commercials, club acts, TV documentaries about their parents, a one-woman show about overdosing and a two-women concert with a dead mother on a giant screen!
Maureen Morrison
Tetonia, Idaho

Inspiration from Maryland
I was so moved by your editor’s letter this month. I was the oldest at home when my father separated from my mother. I’ll never forget the times she’d have a horrible argument with him on the phone, flee the house in tears and drive off into the night. I became adept at crafting cover stories to reassure my younger brother and two younger sisters. Fortunately, Mom always returned in one piece and my parents eventually remarried. And just as you did, I forgave them both after realizing they were flawed, imperfect human beings just doing the best they could.
Kathleen Koch

Proud Male Subscriber
Dear Lesley, I’m a proud male subscriber, avid reader and lover of MORE magazine since its beginning. My subscription magazine had a different cover for Jamie Lee, several small photos of her, and in the bookstore the cover had one picture of her on the cover which looked so gorgeous I bought it!!! I love to see Jamie Lee on your cover. I’m a guy of style and substance, and I love women the same way, which is why I love your gorgeous magazine each month. Keep the lovely issues coming!!! Can you put Hillary on an upcoming issue? You had her before as an alpha girl, and she is mine, I adore her!
Mike K.
Utica, NY

New Faces Please
I have been a reader of More for several years and thoroughly enjoy your product. I would, however, like to see some new faces on the covers, as you seem to repeat more often than not. Props to all the ladies on the previous covers, but there are many more 40plus women that would be fascinating to read about, such as Melissa Etheridge, Felicity Huffman and Sandra Lee, to name a few. Thanks and keep up the great work.
Teri Lester-Rharbi
Los Banos, CA

Still Young Over 40
Dear Lesley… let me say I love More. It is so refreshing to have a quality magazine targeted toward women over 40. For years, it seemed magazines forgot there are millions of energetic, intelligent and fun-loving women still young over 40. So thank you for what you give us each month.
Keryl Pesce

Survival, Prosperity and Reconciliation
Dear Lesley, Reading your editor’s letter in the May More issue had my mouth agape! I was reading my story. The story of me as a 12 year old caring for my little sister and my Mother who took to her bed after my Father left her and there she stayed in her pajamas for the next 5 years. Instead of doing all the things teens do I was relegated to being a caregiver. I deeply resented that my friends had normal lives. Little did we know about depression in the 60’s but Prozac certainly would have saved her! I yearned to live with my Father but he married a woman who was very jealous of my relationship with him. Unfortunately there was no boarding school for me but a young boyfriend whom I married way too young to escape the situation with my Mother. Out of the frying pan and into the fire! I am happy to say that I survived and prospered with a long career, a different and very good husband of 30 years, and I was able to reconcile with my Mother before her death at age 66. I do believe for all the burdens in my early life, God has taken care of me in my later life with wonderful loving people to care for, and that care for me. I wish you the same. Best regards,
Barbara Tedesco

Brave and Beautiful
Ms. Seymour, Your May Editor’s letter was brave and beautiful. And a part of me cried for that young girl who took on so many adult responsibilities. It seems that you came through this storm intact, but nonetheless it is hard to live this and also hard to write in a major national publication about something so personal.

It reminds me of the many children who are serving as caretakers in one form or another in this country. I worked for the National MS Society for years and saw so many youngsters pressed into being caregivers for their parent. Where does childhood go? To the parent. To other siblings. (Now I work for the American Liver Foundation and although there are many family issues around caregiving there as well, it is usually not children doing this). You have a very good magazine. I am a subscriber (yes, I still read paper magazines) and you are an extraordinary editor.
Diann Rohde

To Renew, or Not To?
I have been a subscriber since MORE Magazine’s first issue, but at this date I’m not sure I want to renew. First of all, you’ve gotten younger and I’ve gotten older. Second, I am tired of Jamie Lee Curtis. Is she your Oprah that has to be on every cover? There are so many women that are credible cover and cover [story subjects,] but you keep rotating ther same old same old. MORE has gotten stale, redundant and boring… when you could be MORE!
Rhona J. Guberman
Boca Raton, Florida

Eyes
As I was reading your letter on the plane this morning I was reminded of a favorite quote of mine: "When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself." Hope you had a happy Mother’s Day. Also, thanks for the magazine.
Renee Hasler

Best Ever
Your May issue is the best ever. I want to join the " Memory Losers Club" with Cathleen Schine. I, too, have always had a terrible memory; when others comment on a mutual activity in the past, my eyes glaze over and I just smile. If I didn’t have childhood photographs of myself doing family activities, I would believe I never did anything. But there is an upside Cathleen didn’t mention. It is easy to forgive others when the details fade into a blur. I live a happier, grudge-less life without the negative memories.
Wendy QuiƱones
Pueblo, Colorado

Senior, Not Sedentary
I have been a reader of "More" since it began publishing years ago. I’m now 74 years old, still working and still very active. I know your publication is aimed at women over 40 who have the money to purchase the clothes and make-up that are your advertisers. However, [could] a small space be made for those of us who are considered "senior citizens" but don’t feel or look like the average 65+ year old? Make-up and clothing [advice] for an older person (and [info on] where to buy these items) would be very useful, especially as our bodies change. By this stage of life, we should know ourselves well enough to know our own style, but it’s always nice to feel up-to-date while still on a budget. Thank you for producing a wonderful magazine. I’ll probably still be reading it in the nursing home.
Phyllis Cahoon
Carver, Massachusetts

Dressing Chic With a Chronic Disease
I loved the "Is Your Closet Too Old?" article in the May issue. I saw some of my own "mistakes", and I’d sure love to know how to remedy some more of them.

Many of us who read MORE are living with the challenge of a chronic disease. I’ve had multiple sclerosis for 11 years, and while my eyes gravitate toward heels, my legs say flats! I’d love to see an article featuring women with physical challenges, and how they can look more stylish too! I’m a nurse working 2 jobs, volunteer extensively with the National MS Society and am working on my Master’s. It would be a terrible hardship, but I’d be happy to volunteer for a Tim Gunn makeover!! Thanks for all you do to celebrate women!
Susan Kelly
Scottsdale, AZ

Babysitting Over a Wine List
Reading about Fran Drescher’s preference in dating younger men in a magazine devoted to lifestyles of women over 40 is like finding a recipe for a veal dish in a vegetarian magazine. As a middle aged man who constantly looks for ways to reinvent himself, I occasionally read More. I am inspired by the stories about women who do not settle in their middle years, but continually redefine themselves. Sure I may have one eye on that retirement home in Florida, but along the way I hope to hike to the base of the Grand Canyon, and finally have that book of poetry published. I know your readers are going to say this is payback, that older men have been dating younger women for years. But when there are so many spectacular people over forty doing so much with their lives, babysitting someone over a wine list doesn’t sound like much of a date.
Francesco Pasqualino
Fox Chapel, Pennsylvania

Refreshingly Honest
Hi Lesley, About a year ago, I was on the fence about whether I wanted to keep getting More, and then I read the editor’s letter. The way you talked about your house, the work you had done on it, your family … well, it drew me in. I kept getting More, and with this May issue, you still surprise me. Your willingness to be transparent in a world that criticizes honesty and categories people and issues is refreshing. The fact that you don’t write a “hard-selling” opener as most editor-in-chiefs do is commendable, and now I like seeing what you have to say. You have mastered the ability to share yourself and invite readers to dive into the magazine so beautifully! Kudos for being different!
Olga E. Plant
Wanted: Glasses Advice
I wear glasses and would love an article on not only the best frames for women over 40 but how to accessorize with jewelry, hair, etc. I love your magazine and read it cover to cover!
Colleen

Dear Lesley,
Wow! You struck a chord that brought tears to my eyes as I read your editorial. While my mother’s depression wasn’t as sever as your mother’s seemed to be (we had dinner on the table every night at 6 when my dad came home from work), there was little closeness with my mother. She didn’t even speak to me about reaching puberty; she had a friend of hers discuss it with me. And there were instances of her forgetting to pick me up from the pool when I had been there all day. It was only after she died that we learned about the different medications she was taking— a combination she shouldn’t have been prescribed, including some drugs that she should have only used in conjunction with therapy. 
My last conversation with my mother took place when she was in the hospital after her cancer came back and she had given up. She was full of anger, which at that time was directed at me, though usually it was directed at my dad. I’ve forgiven her. She did the best she could. Dr Phil put it a way that only he can, "You’ve got to rise above your raising." Your parents did the best they could and if it wasn’t perfect, then we should strive to improve on what they gave us.
Marjorie Welsh

Smart, Refreshing and Useful
The May issue with Jamie Lee Curtis on the cover is amazing! I’m a new subscriber and when I first saw the cover, I thought – wow – this is unique and interesting. It wasn’t the usual cover I see on other magazines with one model and too many bullet points and headlines. The content this month was great and I wanted to say thank you for creating a magazine that is smart, refreshing and useful. I’ve been waiting for a magazine like this.
Patty Huang

MORE Men
I am a 77-year-old married man with two daughters and five grandchildren. I receive Money, Consumers Report and Car and Driver. But, I wanted to let you know that the MORE magazine my wife receives is the one that I look forward to reading the most. Naturally, I don’t get to read it first so I just wait my turn. We have both of our daughters receiving MORE also. However, the real purpose of the message is to let you know how much I enjoy reading your editor letter. You are so open about your life and your experiences that when I start to read the magazine the first thing I do is turn to your letter.

By my reading your article and some of the other articles in all the other issues I find that no matter who you are or what you do, somewhere along the way we all share some of the same common concerns. Thank you for helping us all to understand this.

I would hope that more men would take the time to read your magazine and learn more about the women that they are married to or live with. And also find out just how tough women are and what they go through at some point in their life. Thank you.
Phil Del Nagro
Naperville, Illinois

Things Changed
Dear Lesley, I can’t tell you how much this issue of More magazine has meant to me. After 25 years of an unbelievably close bond with my youngest daughter, things changed (with her) last July. Now the relationship is very distant and strained. I have been devastated and thought I was the only mom who had to deal with something like this, but after reading your editorial and the article by Jamie Lee Curtis, I felt much better. I just hope that, in time, my daughter… will someday see me with different eyes. Thank you.
Gayle Fischer

A Wonderful, Honest and Pretty Lady
Wow. This has got to be one of the very best issues I have ever received!!!!!! I think Jamie Lee Curtis is one of the most down-to-earth ladies I have ever seen. I do think her beautiful mother would be so proud to see how she has grown into such a wonderful, honest and pretty lady. . . . Like mother, like daughter. Thank you for this sweet and thoughtful article. I have decided to let my hair go gray. Jamie Lee is my inspiration!!!! Her beautiful mother was one of my favorite actresses. Thank you, again.
Nancy Carter
Tyler, Texas

Saying it Out Loud
Hi Lesley, You said it out loud. Your issues with your mom. Your words reverberated with me. You were so brave to talk so candidly and truthfully. My story is similar but I never talk about it – I just keep trying to always keep it behind me. I left for college and never went home again. . . .
Anne Westbury
Orangeburg, South Carolina

Women Who Go or Stay Gray
While I love reading your More Magazine, I find that the magazine has a strong aversion to gray-haired models and fashions and styling tips catering to a gray-haired woman. As a woman in her late 40’s, I have embraced my natural hair’s progression from carefree youth to earned wisdom which I inherited from my Polish grandmother. I would love to see More articles especially on how to make the most of this head of hair as it pertains to fashion and style. I am even willing to be a Tim Gunn candidate in order to re-vamped with clothing and hair-style. But I will not color my hair!

The recent article on Jamie Lee Curtis was great as she is a celebrity who has made the decision to stay true to herself. There are lots of other women out there who have this same attitude but they have been met by criticism by their female peer-group for their choice to follow nature’s course. I must say that nothing is worse than seeing a bad coloring job on a lovely forty year old woman who is still trying to look like she is twenty five. I think that a well-fashioned outfit could make one look her best for her forty plus age using her natural hair color as a fashion accessory.

Thank you for considering adding strands of gray throughout More Magazine more frequently. I know I will appreciate the information as well as others who are considering the choice to go and/or stay gray.
Alexis Schroeder
Oakland, California

And Then…
Hi, Lesley. I had decided to let my MORE subscription lapse and then I received my May issue. Your column and Jamie Lee Curtis’s article are what changed my mind.
Celeste Rubanick

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
About three weeks ago I was complaining to my husband for the 100th time of what I was sure were side effects of the antidepressants I had been on for years. A few days later I picked up a copy of More and read "Learning to Trust Myself" by Leslie Egnuss. I showed it to my husband saying, "This is me!" I went to the doctor who ordered an MRI and I did indeed have multiple sclerosis! I am so grateful for this article. I can now get appropriate treatment and hopefully feel better. Thank you so much!
Diana Kubec
Denver, Colorado

She Did the Best She Could
Lesley, Thank you for your "editor’s letter" of May 2010! I have been a More reader since its onset. I’m now a semi retired 66 year old teacher working in retail at Talbots a few days a week. I am writing because your letter struck such a chord with me. At 11 years old in 1954, my mother suffered a complete mental breakdown after learning her life savings had been misspent by my stepfather. After 6 months of hospitalization and shock treatments, she came home a strange and different person unlike the one I had previously known. Like you, I adapted in my own way of dealing with my "weird" mother, often feeling ashamed and embarrassed by it all. Fortunately, I was able to go to college and create my own family with a man from a "perfect" family. My life has been quite blessed and different from my mother’s, with two lovely daughters, 7 grandsons and a beautiful adopted granddaughter from Guatemala. Mental illness has still plagued my life, though, with my brother committing suicide at 40. Without the help of therapy and a deep religious faith and a loving husband, I don’t know how I would have been able to cope with it all. Thank you for sharing. It helps so very much to know there are others with a similar story, and I too realize my mother "did the best she could."
Janet Byrd

First Published Tue, 2010-04-27 12:26

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http://www.more.com/member-voices/your-letters/we-hear-you-may-issue