HOW THEY’RE DIFFERENT Susan’s world was idyllic at 40; Nancy’s turned tragic. Nancy Sharp became a widow at 37. "My first husband battled cancer for nearly seven years, and for the two years after he died, I was depleted," she says. "I found it hard to breathe deeply, to get a clear view of my life, even to be an energetic mom to our two-year-old twins. I knew as I approached 40, I needed a big change in my life to feel more hopeful." So, after 18 years in New York City, Nancy decided to pack up her kids and move to Denver. Nancy’s mother, Susan, had a much more stable life at 40. Her husband was a successful lawyer, she had two beautiful kids, she taught art classes, painted and showed her work regularly at local galleries in Easton, Connecticut. "My mom’s life was certainly busy and challenging, but she was not, thank god, dealing with the fallout of losing a spouse to a terminal illness," Nancy says. While her mother’s life was a continuum in her forties, Nancy’s started over. The move to Colorado proved happy for Nancy and her kids. Nancy met and fell in love with Steve Saunders, a Denver news anchor-reporter who was also widowed and had two children, both sons. Steve and Nancy were married last summer and have blended their families in what Nancy calls the Brady Bunch model. Career-wise, Nancy has also reinvented herself, focusing primarily on writing (she dabbled in public relations, editing and public affairs back on the East Coast), and she’s started a series of children’s books that deal with death and loss.

HOW THEY’RE DIFFERENT Bonnie was trendy; Kelly prefers timeless styles. "I just got out of grad school," Kelly Lincoln-Falcone says, "so my wardrobe right now mostly comes from the Gap and Loehmann’s. But my style has always been classic and understated. When I went away to college, I remember becoming the quintessential prep: My closet was stocked with turtlenecks, collared shirts and penny loafers. Looking back, I’m sure I was partly just trying to go in the opposite direction from my mom, who was one of the first in our New Jersey town to wear every trend." That is true enough: At forty-something, Kelly’s mother, Bonnie Lincoln, had just had her fourth child (Bonnie Lynn, right) but refused to succumb to frumpy mom jeans, preferring parachute pants, shoulder pads and sparkly jewelry. "It was the 1980s," Kelly allows. Kelly is more reserved, her mother is a true extrovert. Shy as a teenager, Kelly says that she is far more comfortable in her skin today. "I’ve never been happier or more at peace," she says, yet she still considers herself fairly buttoned up, especially compared with her mother. Bonnie, Kelly says, was always exceptionally outgoing. "My mom exuded confidence in her forties and was admirably sure of herself. She didn’t work outside the home, but I remember her being very involved in the community, charities, my school-and she had tons of friends."