Situation: The creepy guy down the hall thinks it’s funny to call you Toots and doesn’t understand why you take offense. “Oh, I call everybody that,” he says, jostling your arm when you call him on it.
Your Response: “I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.” --Oscar Wilde
Situation: Your request for a tiny increase in salary got turned down, even though you helped plump up the bottom line. “We can't afford it,” says your boss. “It’s the economy.” But you know what her salary is--and her bonus.
Your Response: “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” --Dorothy Parker
Jennifer Jeanne Patterson is a freelance writer and author of 52 Fights. She lives in Minneapolis with her husband and three children. Find her blog at Unplanned Cooking.