"Either take a pain pill or there's a pillow with your name on it." And: "I can get you a room on a nursing home." These statements belong to me, and I said them to my darling spouse of many years, who's never been sick, but who retired and got sick. I work full time. I am not a housewife of any merit, nor am I a nurse. My darling had his world turned upside down by this, and he didn't bounce real well with this. There were very specific job descriptions that we both comfortably fit into — until now. His job description included lifting heavy things, lawn work, dry-cleaner runs, automobile stuff, house maintenance, and now that he's retired, all the “ect.” stuff to maintain the household. My job description included working 10 to 12 hours a day, paying bills, and keeping our social obligations together. Life made sense. Tables have been turned, serious back problem happened, and so did a lot of “he can’t’s” and a lot of “you will.” It started with his disapproval of how I mowed the lawn. Really, are you just nuts ? We then went on to find out that the car that I drive was in need of service, and oh my God, there was a mouse in the car. Really? He wasn't happy how I dealt with it and voiced it out loud. Then the garbage can wasn't curbed correctly. Really, I was going to explode. Then I realized he hadn't taken a pain pill since surgery … really. He doesn't want to be addicted. Really? So, yes I am guilty of saying cruel and mean things, and he needs to hear them.