I've let go of the mom guilt, for the most part. I took an informal poll, and realized most moms were so busy wallowing in their own crud that they were missing the potential awesomeness of every day. So, I put guilt on mute.
Before I had kids, I was pretty confident I was a good person, fun to hang out with, as well as somewhat intelligent. Fast forward a decade or two, and I'm pretty confidant I'm an embarrassment, a bore, and dumb as a stump. Of course, that depends on which one of my children you ask.
My pre-teen daughter still thinks I'm terrific. She's my favorite mini girlfriend, and unless I forget and leave her (just kidding so don't go dialing HRS) at hip hop, basketball, or piano, she's always full of unconditional love and hugs for me. My teenage son is a different story. He's mastered the trifecta of deep sigh/eye-roll/dismissal of me, pretty much from the get-go of my "Good morning, hon, how did you sleep?" I know it's just a matter of time before my little one joins the love-less fest though. Sigh.
Here's what letting go of the guilt has allowed me to understand. First, all of the 'tude has nothing to do with me! I'll be the first to admit, I'm no June Cleaver. Homemade pancakes (or much of anything) don't come wafting from my kitchen at 6:30 a.m. For the record though, I make a mean batch of cookies, courtesy of that roll of frozen cookie dough. What I've realized is this — I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be perfect. My kids aren't perfect, and my friends' kids aren't perfect. To try and chase perfection is a lesson in futility, where the only winners are the makers of Ibuprofen. Or vodka companies. Once I decided to let myself off the hook, it became easy to laugh at the daily confusion, commotion, and oops that inevitably happen in all our lives. We're all entitled to mess up, feel overwhelmed, and freak out from time to time. It's a life lesson our kids need to see in action, so they can learn about humanity and empathy. Growing up comes with a myriad of insecurities; maybe if we expose ours to our kids, it will help them breathe a bit easier. And maybe, just maybe they'll do the eye-roll thingy less.