Are All Men Fixated on Their You-Know-Whats?

Is anyone surprised that Herman Cain has “suspended his campaign?” With two women accusing him of sexual misconduct and one claiming an affair with him, he seems to have been busier than all the other political philanderers.

Patti Davis • columnist
patti davis image
Photograph: John Russo

Newt Gingrich must be ecstatic about Herman Cain's alleged dalliances and accusations of sexual misconduct; the former CEO of Godfather's Pizza has taken the attention off Gingrich's own past infidelities. John Edwards and Anthony Weiner should send Cain thank you notes – they look like ancient history.

What is it with these guys? Cain said in an interview regarding the accusations that, “a hundred thousand people could possibly come out.”

Wow, that’s one busy guy.

And then his attorney, Lin Wood, advised women to “think twice” before going public with these accusations.

I’m not sure which is worse at this point, the misconduct or the arrogance. During Weinergate, I mentioned my disgust to a man I know at the gym and got a response that made me wonder if I understand men at all.

“It’s really unfair,” this man said. “I understand what Weiner did. Every guy does stuff like that.”

“Wait a minute,” I said. “Every man photographs his penis and sends it out on-line?”

“Well, Weiner probably made a mistake using Twitter – I mean it’s so easy to mess up and not send it as a private message,” my gym buddy said. “But he was actually being loyal to his wife. He was trying to remain faithful and not do anything. Men need that kind of thrill. It’s just in our nature. He was trying to not actually cheat.”

He went on at length about how silly this society is -- I think he really meant the female portion of society -- for getting upset when all the guy did was send out a photo of his penis to a woman he’d never met. There are much worse things than that, he said.

Well, okay. No one is going to say that a man should be locked up with murderers because the memory card on his cell phone has photos of his genitals instead of the family picnic at the beach.

But still…

“I’ve been deeply in love,” this man went on. “And I still wanted to have sex with other women. It’s just sex. What’s the big deal? Sexual intercourse is what you have with someone you love. With the others, it’s just ….ing” You can fill in the blank.

The more he talked, the less attractive he became. And he’s a handsome man. But suddenly he wasn’t anymore. Where was his sensitivity toward others, specifically women? And most significantly, where was his maturity?

The conversation really depressed me. I wondered if I was completely naïve about men. What if he was right, and every man has a fixation with photographing his penis to avoid cheating?

I decided to continue my surveying of the sex pictures landscape by asking my ex-boyfriend, with whom I am on good terms.

“Can I ask you a personal question? Do you photograph your penis?”

“No,” he said.

“Would you tell me if you did?”


I pressed the point: “Well, how am I going to find out if this is a common underground practice that women are ignorant about? Someone from your tribe told me all of you do it, and you do it as a way to stay faithful. So you can have that rush of excitement that you are all apparently addicted to.”

“Huh,” he said, clearly contemplating this. “I guess there’s a certain logic to that. But honestly, I haven’t done it.”

I think I believe him. Then again, I’m not sure. Short of doing an actual scientific survey, I haven’t the foggiest idea how to uncover the truth. Maybe the subject should be tossed in with the other pertinent questions we ask a guy when things start to move along. Any legal troubles at the moment? STDs? Any kids out of wedlock? Stalker exes? Do you photograph your penis?

If he says no to the question, here are several options:

1.The political wife option: Believe him.

2. The somewhat enlightened option: Don't believe him, but let it go.

3. The modern-day Alex Forrest option: Hack into his computer and steal his cell phone.

At least you know, that in this day and age, option 3 wouldn't be perceived as a big deal. I mean, just like guys photographing their penises, doesn't everyone do it?

Patti has contributed to numerous magazines and newspapers over the past 20 years, and one of her screenplays, Sacrifices of the Heart, was produced by Hallmark in 2007. She has just finished a script about a fictional First Daughter, and is working on another novel titled The Myth of Water.

Want MORE from Patti? Read: Ronald Reagan: My Disappearing Dad

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First Published Tue, 2011-12-06 12:20

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