What Not to Wear, EVER

The point of getting dressed every day is to look your best. Sure, sure, if you are among the genetically blessed and can wear just about anything and rock it, we’re happy for you. For everyone else, choose wisely. Here are 21 things that look good on no one

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Pleated Slacks

They will make you look heavier, shorter and out of date in an instant. Go flat-front, immediately.

Courtesy of The Examiner

Micro Mini Skirt

They are for the very long and very lean legged (and the under 25 set). The most universally flattering skirt length? To the knee or just below it.

Courtesy of Shutterstock

The Color Orange

It works in pops (as in accessories) or as a part of a fun, island-y print, but otherwise it’s a tricky color to splash across your body.
Courtesy of Shutterstock

Acid Wash Denim

It was popular in 1986. Enough said.
Courtesy of Shutterstock

Capped Sleeves

This style makes even the most well-defined arms look flabby. Better to go with ANY other sleeve length.
Courtesy of Shutterstock

Wide, Horizontal Stripes

Yes, they DO make you look bigger. Best way to wear stripes? Skinny lines that are alternating dark colors (navy and green) or alternating tone on tone (beige and taupe, for example).
Courtesy of IBTimes.com

Heels with Shorts

This is the pairing worn by most Vegas cocktail waitresses, and it’s never a classy look. If you’re wearing shorts, choose either flats or wedges.
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Christmas Sweaters

Saturday Night Live performed an entire skit around the hilarity that is a Christmas sweater. Does that sound like a fashion statement you want to make?
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Overalls

Not even chic on the farm. The way to wear denim is in a dark rinse, in the pant leg shape that’s most flattering on your body.
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Hair Accessories That Match Your Outfit

This is what toddlers do, and although it’s great on them, not so much on a grownup.
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Boxy Jackets

Boxy jackets create a boxy silhouette. Not good. Today’s chic jacket shape is fitted and shrunken.
Courtesy of My-Wardrobe.com

Flannel Night Gowns

Unless you are sick with the flu and sipping a steaming mug of tea, the flannel gown is not your friend in the bedroom.
Courtesy of Nordstrom

Clothes That Are Too Tight

Tight clothes are an uncomfortable fashion disaster, and the look will add 10 pounds in an instant.
Courtesy of She Knows

Nude Pantyhose

Nude hose aren’t fashionable when you’re wearing white, they’re not fashionable in the summer, they’re not even good with a wedding dress. If you want that look, go without hose. If you need coverage but want something light, wear sheer hose in a color.
Courtesy of Shutterstock

Stockings With Sandals

It is a crime against sandals everywhere. They’re sandals, and they’re meant to be worn with bare feet.
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Chipped Nail Polish

It takes approximately three minutes to remove nail polish. You mean to tell me you don’t have time for that??
Courtesy of Shutterstock

Leggings As Pants

They’re meant to be worn under things, like dresses and long tunics, and unless you have the legs of a giraffe you really need to get on board. Even if you DO have the legs of a giraffe, they’re still not pants.
Courtesy of SmartStyleTips.com

Wide Whale Corduroys

They add bulk on the place that you least need it, and they make a swooshing sound when you walk. Skip them.
Courtesy of Rusty Zipper

Logos

Doesn’t matter if it’s a sports team or a fancy designer—wearing logos takes the style out of your look.

Your Husband's Anything

Get over the sentimentality of wearing his college sweatshirt. Not flattering, not fashionable, not necessary.

Muffin Top

Doesn’t look good at any age or on any body type. If your waistband is cutting into you THAT much, it’s time to size up.

 

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First Published Mon, 2012-02-06 15:05

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