You've got to believe that you're worth more. It all starts there. You can hesitate and be doubtful, you can even worry that you won’t get what you want, but in your heart of hearts, you have to fully claim that you’re worthy—and amazing.
The world reflects back to you how much you value yourself.
Role play. Ask a friend to be tough on you. Your friend's job is to play hardball and coach you to stand in your power. Act out the "part" of being a hard-hitter. The point of the exercise is to uncork your inner money ninja. Trumpet your praises, stamp your feet, "I'll go for six-figures, a parking spot, and an extra three weeks paid holidays." Just try on righteousness for size.
And then come back to center, back to what feels true in your bones: You are willing to give it your all. And you deserve to have your energy matched.
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Become an Expert
Become obsessed with your industry. I never went to university, but I ended up running a think tank in Washington, DC for future studies. I wrangled a Mensa-level team of analysts to study global trends. I hustled and self-studied my way through the labyrinth. I went to every conference, read every journal. I asked for meetings, I took notes. I went to experts for nourishment and... I grew and grew and grew.
Good communication starts with dialoguing with yourself to get clear about how you feel. Try journaling, contemplation, a walk to clear your head. Once you're rooted to your own truth, you can speak with sincerity and clarity. And sincerity goes a lot further than "polished" skills any day.
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Become a Powerful Networker
Does anyone really "like" networking? Just the word stirs up feelings of dread for most of us. It needs a mental re-frame to shift your energy around it. Like so: "I'm here to be of service. I'm here to attract great things into my life. I'm here to learn."
And then you need to detach from the results. If you enter every new meeting with the "What can I get from this?" stance, not only does it create anxiety for you but it's kind of… repelling for everyone else.
What you gain from networking is one part moxie (reaching out), one part stamina (following through), and one part magic: You never know how or when the universe will weave in a life-changing connection for you.
Say thank you for the criticism. Seriously. Whether you’ve been rightly or wrongly critiqued, say thanks. Thanks for letting me know, thanks for bringing it up, thanks for communicating. Whether you agree or not, it’s a learning opportunity and you can muster some gratitude for that. Hard knocks always translate into value.
Major structural changes in an organization can be the best time to swoop in and ask for more of what you want. Take advantage of the shake up to re-define your role—and the pay that should come with it.
Expertise isn’t always tied to productivity—yes, results rule, but culturally, I think we're overly focused on productivity and not focused enough on increasing value. It doesn’t matter if you stock twenty shelves if the product isn’t moving, or if you hit all your deadlines if your customers aren’t happy.
Rather than asking “What did I get done today?”, ask, “What value did I bring?” That's where your earning sweet spot is.