We Hear You! Letters from Our March 2012 Issue

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MORE • Editors
julianne moore image

I am receiving More magazine and enjoy it very much. Thanks.

I was quite taken (in good ways) with you Letter in the March issue ("The end of the 'firsts'"). I teach a college class (among other things) as we talk about the importance of firsts - firsts in one's own life as well as firsts for the world at large, and all in between. So thanks for providing a nice boost to the discussion.
--Tom Squitieri

I have been a devoted reader of More for many years because as a magazine dedicated originally to women age 40+ it spoke to me, a woman who is in that demographic. I recently decided to enter the More Beauty Search and saw that the rules state that participants must be at least 30 years of age! On closer inspection, I also noticed that the February 2012 issue has a feature regarding hair for ages 30 and over. When did More become younger? Are there not enough beautiful, fascinating, and sexy women over the age of 40 to keep your magazine in business? Are there not enough beautiful and sexy women over the age of 40 to participate in your beauty search? What is your magazine suggesting? Are you caving in to the pressure of our society that emphasizes youth? As a 46 year old woman, I feel insulted that this magazine, which I once highly regarded, has succumbed to the idea that younger is somehow better for business. Are there not enough magazines out there to address the issues of those in their early years of adulthood? As I age, what magazine will I have to turn to? I feel insulted and profoundly disappointed. I will not be renewing my subscription.
--Irene Stadnyk, New York, NY

I enjoyed your important article entitled, "When You Can't Get a Diagnosis," but I was disappointed at the use of "he" when referring to physicians. I applaud the citations of female doctors, researchers, and specialists, but was dismayed that doctors are still referred to as male. A direct quotation is one thing, but generic reference should include the female option--especially in a women's magazine.

Thank you.
--Candace

Lesley:

While I applaud your editorial “The End of the Firsts” for its message of women breaking new ground, I was disappointed on your take on southern women and the south in general. When I started the article and read you were asked by New England classmates why you would want to attend a college where everyone “sounds dumb”, I assumed you would make the point that southerners are indeed as intelligent as any other group of people. Moreover, southerners are generally a gracious, courteous people who genuinely care for others. As a proud southern woman, I feel you should raise the flag for all women, not just those in other parts of the country!
--Luanne Schafner, Augusta, GA

I love the magazine and look forward to every issue. However, for a publication that celebrates women over 40, I'm very disappointed about the heavy use of airbrushing on all the fabulous women you feature. We should be celebrating aging gracefully. Why does More -- of all magazines -- cover up laugh lines and try so hard to make the stars you feature look like they're 25? For that matter, I'd love to see More take a stand and require cosmetic companies that advertise on your pages to not use airbrushing. Wouldn't it be lovely if there was one magazine out there that glorified women as they are?

Thanks!
--Margaret Harrist, Austin, TX

Julianne Moore is a beautiful, 51 year old woman who you make the point of saying, in your interview of her, has no interest or inclination to get plastic surgery.

So WHY do you airbrush the hell out of her face on your cover????????????

Your magazine is all about celebrating women being beautiful as they age so LET THEM AGE.

Her face is lacking LIFE ~ experience, life lines, joy, pain.....

So tired of women being airbrushed to death.
--Alexandra Martella, Lyons, CO
I love your magazine but my only complaint is that the print is too small and too light. I wear contacts but still have trouble reading your magazine! I am only 46 but would love it if you made it larger for those of us whose eyes are just not what they used to be!

Thank you,
Beth Fetcho

Perhaps because I am a Duke alumnus (Trinity College 1964) my wife passed along your “Letter from the Editor” in the March issue of More magazine. I thought I would share with you one of my experiences at Duke.

In the spring of 1964, our class had about 15 accounting majors and we were preparing to graduate. There were two young ladies in our class: Mary Lou Huck and another whose name I can’t recall. Most of us were planning a career with one of the big national firms, the so called “Big Eight.” The recruiters from the Big Eight all arrived on the same day and our accounting professors, Dr. Martin Black, Dr. Tom Keller (later Dean of Fuqua) and Dr. Bob Dickens, hosted a dinner for them the night before interviews. Dr. Black was the head of the accounting department and he well knew that women were just not hired in professional positions by the national accounting firms. As Dr. Keller later related to me, Dr. Black spoke to the recruiters and essentially told them that he didn’t care how they worked it out, but if they wished to continue to recruit at Duke, someone among them would offer jobs to the two women. Both women got job offers and as I later learned, Mary Lou Huck had considerable success with Price Waterhouse.

I had a three year commitment to serve in the Navy and consequently it was 1967 before I resigned my commission and started work with the firm that is now known as Deloitte & Touche. Among the group of new accountants in the Atlanta office were four women. In just those three years, while I was in the Navy, the profession had changed markedly and the firms were actively recruiting women.

Now, we still had some things to work out. For example, there was a good bit of travel for the Atlanta staff. What do the fellows do when three guys and Elaine Borack arrive at the motel in Augusta were we’ll be for a week doing an audit? Do we offer to carry Elaine’s suitcase or let here handle it.

Anyway, it did all work out and I believe half of the profession is now made up of women. I have always been proud that the accounting professors at Duke, and especially Dr. Black, stood up for the women in our class.
--Joe Todd, Friday Harbor, WA

I read your Letter from the editor with bewilderment. I graduated from Duke in 1971. At that time, Duke was considered a leading university in many areas. Mine was nursing. My husband is a undergraduate and medical graduate from Duke. The nursing school was ranked 2nd in the nation. The medical was also rated one of the top in the nation. Your social experiences also differed from mine. Our dates weren’t announced. We had no curfew in 1971. I was in a sorority and my friends on East Campus were more interested in their studies than their appearance. I too grew up in the north. Your broad generalizations I don’t believe are representative of the Duke culture. Obviously, your experiences are valid, but perhaps not the norm. My friends in northern schools also faced social pressures not unlike Duke’s. Women have made great inroads in sexual equality, both in the north and south.
Ann Cahill, RN, MSN (Women’s Health Expert)

My compliments to Nina Burleigh on her story about Jill Abramson (March 2012 issue). I don't usually read such long articles but this one was well written and very interesting.
--Terri Andrade

Just a few comments on the March magazine.

Many good articles..especially: Iris Krasnow's on marriage.

Fabulous photos in Best and Brightest section....just wonderful.

The article "anti-aing skin care...what's right for you...Damn, I needed a compass to begin to navigate that totally confusing piece. It seemed to take everything every written about skin types and products and re-jumble it up. Totally confusing to read and honestly, I've been reading this stuff for 40 years..and I'm in the business. How about simple, simple, simple.

Enjoy most of the magazine, would like to see more women over 50 and 60 who are the new "more" ladies...we're still going strong.

Thanks,
D

I just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and tell you how I feel about more. I am 47 year old and I remember five or six years ago when I saw your magazine in the hands of my friends I would just crinch and think why would they read this. It is for obese old people.

Now I check the mail five times a day when is time to get my more. It is one of the few magazines beside Hola and Paris Match that I enjoy. I still maybe will ad a few things to it but I do love it. I do have some suggestions but I am not even sure if you will get this.

I was born in Iran, raised in Paris and went to university in USA and married a Spaniard from Spain. Have three beautiful kids one in Miami JDMBA, one in Boston ice hockey and one in Stanford graduate school. I am loosing my mind being an empty nester already when most of my friends are just having kids.

Thank god I work. We make kettle classics and delicious diet snacks such as vanilla frosting popped chips. I love my work but I miss my kids and my life with kids terribly.

I speak 5 languages so sorry for mistakes and I just wanted to tell you from so long that I have gone from hating your magazine to wait for it impatiently. Again they are things that I wished it had.

I hope you get this. I would love to send you some snacks in a way of thanking you. In our culture you always reciprocate gifts and MORE for me is a gift.

Thank you,
Roya Cuetara

I was drawn to your March column when I saw Duke University. My daughter will be a freshman in the fall. Ironically, Cassie is a National Merit Finalist which meant that many schools have offered her a free ride, but since Duke is so competitive and turns away so many, they don't. This has been a huge obstacle for my husband to work through. But, as a counselor, I tell other students to go after their dreams, so I felt like I couldn't tell me own daughter, she couldn't. However, with both my husband and I being educators, this will be the biggest financial challenge we've faced. The wildest part of this and how it relates to you, is I just got home from a meeting at our school about "transitioning your child to college." Driving home, I am praying that we've made the right decision to let Cassie follow her dreams instead of doing what's best financially. I get home, tell Cassie what I learned about work study, campus jobs, being a RA, etc. because she will have to do her part for Duke to happen, and then I pick up your magazine, thumb through and read your article. Cassie is the first National Merit Finalist for our county and she's going to Duke. I think it was more than just a coincidence that I picked up your magazine when I did. I felt like it was a confirmation about going after you want since that was the essence of your column-Cassie going after what she wants means Duke. For our family, the financial obstacle is huge. But, I have to believe this is where she is meant to be and will be happy. It will be interesting to see if this is the case, this time, next year.

I love your magazine.

Attached is a photo of a story that was run by Spry magazine about the "Girl Power" group I run at my school and my desire to help kids. It's Cassie in the picture with me.

Go Blue Devils!
--Jennifer Calvert, Concord, NC
First of all, I do enjoy your magazine, but not all of us are impossibly rich and thin. I don't live in California or New York, never was able to go to college. But as a regular woman, I raised my parent's children, worked three jobs, married twice, raised a second family, never could have kids of my own. Was beat up by a policeman boyfriend, started working for the phone company as a typist, and retired 36 years later as a splicer, lineman, telephone technician, yes a man's so called field. I'm not obese and I'm not thin. Bought two houses by myself and am now retired at 57. We all know that this is not a isolated story, interview the regular woman. The one that made a difference to many but will never be in a magazine/newspaper. Show your clothing ideas on a real woman's body, with prices we can afford. It would be refreshing.
--Tina Kannard, Mentor, Ohio
I originally subscribed to your magazine when it first came out. I was so intrigued and maybe even a bit elated to see a magazine coming out that touted a different way of doing things. The photo of Jamie Lee Curtis looking like a regular Jane was very encouraging.

However, your magazine has digressed from what you originally said the content would be. I stopped getting it for awhile because I was too busy to read it. I signed back up and have tried to overlook the continuous stream of "great" looking 40 somethings and older.

Today was the last straw. I was flipping through the March issue and was "slapped" in the face by the article entitled "This is What 47 Looks Like." Really? The woman being interviewed looks great for her age, but then again so do I. I am 49 and look 39 by the grace of God. I am also a size 4. My outrage is not that I am "jealous"; it is because "she" is not what 47 looks like anymore than I am what 49 looks like. She is what she looks like at 47, which is great, but there are lots of other women out there who don't look like that. You stigmatize them by saying that this woman is how they should look.

People today have enough body image problems without you adding to their neurosis by showing them pictures (that have been photoshopped no less) and saying in essence, you should look like this.

Shame on you for being so insensitive. For a magazine that was supposed to be about us "older" women embracing who and how we are you are sadly missing the mark.
--Cyndi E Carpluk

Julianne Moore does look beautiful on the cover and in the photo spread of your March issue. However…

If she’s owning up to secret “flaws,” it seems you might have left some freckles on her face, along with a few wrinkles, which she appears to have in other photos and in the movies.

It’s sad when a magazine that’s supposed to be about women feeling good about themselves as they grow older Photoshops wrinkles off the pictures and is filled with ads for wrinkle creams, Botox, Juviderm and other anti-aging products, along with articles tell us how to choose the most effective ones. We all want to look our best, but it seems the message of your magazine is that the only “best” is an unnaturally wrinkle-free skin.

I do enjoy the exercise, fashion and career articles, but I find myself feeling worse after reading your magazine.
--Judy Kenninger

Concerning "Firsts"

First you must be aware of the year my story took place. It was 1958-1959.

I had been a cheerleader since 10th grade and in those days it was an honor to be a cheerleader for the "boys" football and basketball teams. Unlike today when most girls frown upon it.
At the end of my junior year of high school I was diagnosed with a herniated disc in my back. I spent most of the summer, first in traction and then in a full body cast, before I was told surgery would be necessary. This operation made it impossible for me to be a cheerleader my last year of high school.

Up to this point our school's color guard was made up of four boys. I wanted so badly to participate in something, so I got the idea of being part of the color guard. I persuaded three of my girlfriends to go with me to present the request to the (male) high school principal for the opportunity to become the "first" female color guard.

We were granted that request and became our school's "first" females to lead the parades as color guards for the class of 1959. We even ask to wear (instead of the long trousers the boys wore) if we could wear the same short skirts that the majorettes wore. We were granted that permission. Later we discovered this was much to the dismay of the majorettes.

The four of us paved the way for all of the girls to follow and I am proud that I didn't give up but spoke up for women even before the days when it became acceptable to do so.
--Joyce Freeman, Lititz, PA

It is with dismay and disappointment that I write this letter. My initial reaction was to let it go because in the past I would have said “Delta is ready when you are”. Also, as everyone is moving to the South from the north I hesitate to continue the trend by proposing to defend the South. The South now is a dichotomy of sorts, Southern and entrepreneurial, Atlanta is home to more Fortune 100 companies than any city outside of Chicago and NY, and we have the busiest airport in the world. Also, Birmingham is home to some very large magazines such as the wonderful Southern Living that is ranked in the top 20 magazines read in the US.

Having stated the obvious, my concern with your letter is so typical, i.e. Northern stereotype of the South and lack of knowledge and/or respect. I almost found it comical that it appears you were taken aback that women like to look well when going out. If I could only look as well as my 83 year old Mother who never leaves the house without looking lovely even during radiation treatment.

As a polyglot and world traveler I am Southern by birth (my family goes back to the 1700s) and American by the Grace of God, I would never be rude or criticize someone in public… certainly not in a letter to the public. We do have manners in the South and I do hope this is not seen as defending my heritage – that is not my point – to be quite honest I am surprised you went to Duke – clearly it was not a wonderful experience for you.

Thank you for listening.
--HollyBeth Anderson

First Published Tue, 2012-02-28 13:13

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http://www.more.com/member-voices/your-letters/we-hear-you-letters-our-march-2012-issue