5 Must-Read Books for Sibling Caregivers

Expert advice for brothers and sisters embroiled in eldercare

by Lise Funderburg
francine russo they're your parents too book cover picture
Photograph: Bantam

These recent self-help guides and memoirs explore how adult siblings can manage their relationships as they care for aging or ailing parents.

Mom Always Liked You Best: A Guide for Resolving Family Feuds, Inheritance Battles & Eldercare Crises by Arline Kardasis et al. A practical manual from four family mediation experts that focuses on communication trouble spots and issues such as
estate planning.

Cain’s Legacy: Liberating Siblings from a Lifetime of Rage, Shame, Secrecy, and Regret by Jeanne Safer, PhD. Psychotherapist Safer focuses on the darkest corners of sibling relationships, including the costs of favoritism, which can come to a head during the caregiving process. But she never loses sight of the importance of the sibling bond.

They’re Your Parents, Too! How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents’ Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy by Francine Russo. Journalist Russo crafts a comprehensive guide to the “twilight transition,” the period when adult siblings deal with their parents growing older and dying.

A Bittersweet Season: Caring for Our Aging Parents—and Ourselves by Jane Gross. Former New York Times reporter Gross, who started the paper’s blog the New Old Age, delivers a tender chronicle of how she and her brother navigated their mother’s increasing frailty and eventual demise.

Pig Candy: Taking My Father South, Taking My Father Home by Lise Funderburg. In this memoir, Funderburg, the author of our main article, relates how she and her sisters discover that their father has untreatable prostate cancer and band together to give him a good death.

Next: The Caregiver Chronicles

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First Published Mon, 2012-04-23 12:26

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