What's Next for Hillary Clinton?

Get well, Hillary! We’ve got big plans for you

hillary clinton image
Photograph: Jill Bednar / PR Photos

Dear Hillary,

You deserve a gap year, a chance to catch up on your thousands of lost sleep hours, not to mention lost vacation time. We know you want to get serious about doing morning yoga and catching up on the years of home decor TV shows you missed out on because of all those meetings with heads of state. We want you to have time to putter in your garden, redecorate your house, loll on the beach. But we feel as if we're just getting to know the real you, and we're not ready to say good-bye. You know we're right. Let's face it, with your brand of high-octane energy, Love It or List It can only fully engage you for so long—so better keep those 2016 options open. With that in mind, we’ve devised a program for you: a balance of me-time (massages, facials, visits to museums) interspersed with activities that will prime the pump for the next presidential election and keep you visible in a positive way.  So, over the next four years, enjoy your well-earned R&R, but do these things, too: 
1. Write a book. This is obvious. All ex–secretaries of state do it, don’t they? You have probably been keeping notes all along for Dreams from our Foremothers—or maybe just call it Rove No More.
2. Get started on building that $6 billion war chest (factoring in inflation). Get a mega-advance for the book and do a mother of all publicity tours when it comes out. Charge six-figure speaking fees.
3. Fire up the “listening tour” circuit you launched when you ran for U.S. senator from New York. You could do a virtual version this time, which is ecologically friendlier and easier on the complexion. But there’s nothing like a live tour. Also, build a “Hillary Listens” page on Facebook.
And once a month, go to a different part of the country to sit down at a pancake breakfast with the 99 percent.
4. Start a Donor Dinner Wardrobe File. This will be fun. Whenever you see a picture of an outfit you’d like to wear, tear it out and stick it in the file. Then, when the time is right (wink, wink), leak the names of the designers to the press.
5. Start a Clinton School for Politicians.  We’d like you to groom and mentor 10 women to run for U.S. House and Senate seats in 2016.  (Maybe Chelsea would be one of them.) Bill would probably volunteer to teach, but let’s not go there.
6. Learn Spanish. Hey, it can’t hurt, especially if the Republicans decide they have to be nicer to Latinos.
7. Send in your membership registration for the World Economic Forum. They need more smart influencers who have ideas that could actually change the world. 
8. Drop behind enemy lines—by which we mean host a Fox talk show. No question, this would be tough. But think of the seeds you could plant, the minds you could change! In Congress, you were famous for befriending senior senators from the opposition by sitting at their feet. Could work with Bill O’Reilly!

Next: Hillary Clinton’s Secret Weapon

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First Published Wed, 2012-11-14 11:28

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