Celeb Resolutions We’d Like to See

Listen up, celebs. . . You wear a size zero. Your hair bounces. Your stylist has made you a design icon. And you have lots and lots of cash.  No matter how humble and grateful you are, no matter how many good works you do, you really annoy us.  Here are some resolutions that could fix that

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Donald Trump

I resolve to… name a building after someone other than myself.

 

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Oprah

I resolve to … put my top-rated old TV show back on. [Ed. note: Please!!!]

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Warren Buffett

I resolve to… give every American an allowance

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Ann Coulter

I resolve to… communicate my ideas only through mime

 

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Vladimir Putin

I resolve to… sign all of my edicts with a smiley face

 

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Barbara Walters

I resolve to… step outside my comfort zone and interview the 11 most fascinating people

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Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito

We resolve to…remarry so America can feel whole again

 

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Chris Brown and Rihanna

We resolve to…break up so America can feel whole again

Kim Kardashian

I resolve to… channel my inner Amish

 

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Madonna

I resolve to…join the cast of Hot in Cleveland

 

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Tori Spelling

I resolve to … stop writing autobiographies until something interesting happens

 

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Kelly Ripa

I resolve to… eat a full meal

 

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Simon Cowell

I resolve to… button my top two buttons

 

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Lady Gaga

I resolve to… stop going to the Christmas Tree Shoppe for my wardrobe

 

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Hillary Clinton

I resolve to… put my feet up and watch Political Animals

 

Next: Hillary Clinton's Next Step

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First Published Wed, 2012-12-26 14:11

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