We Hear You! Letters from Our May 2014 Issue

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by MORE • Editors
May 2014 Cover

Good afternoon!

I recently finished reading the May issue (in one sitting I might add) and felt compelled to write. I must congratulate you on your best issue ever!  As a 51 year old woman entering menopause, this issue inspired and rejuvenated me at a time when it is most crucial.  There are countless books on what to expect during menopause (hot flashes, mood swings, etc.), but nothing touches on the unexpected, almost instant weight gain, change of skin, body and all around feeling about oneself, not to mention the sudden contemplation of your past and future life.

Beginning with the story on Diane Keaton, my eyes were opened to accept the changes that are occurring not only within my body but also my mind.  To begin to see life through a “different” set of eyes, and to enjoy what, thanks to life getting in the way, I have taken for granted up to this point.

Then to read the stories of “What it means to live fearlessly” and how each individual overcame their particular situation, only emphasized my most recent feelings of, “you only live once, and yes the days are getting shorter.”  I find I care less about what people think of me and more about what makes me happy ~ even if that means stepping outside my comfort zone.

Thanks to this issue I feel I will endeavor to seek out more fun, worry less about how my hair or makeup looks for the day, search for looser fitting tops to cover the sudden growth in my mid-section (though not too easy for a 4’ 10” woman without looking like a walking sack of potatoes!), enjoy the scents and scenes around me more and relish my husband, children and grandchildren.

Thanks MORE!!!!! 

--Susan Eckert

Thank you so much for the phenomenal cover photo and article on Diane Keaton.  I absolutely love her and she has always been my role model.  She gets more and more gorgeous with age, so much so, that when people ask me my thoughts on aging, I tell them that I have lots of "Diane Keaton-ness" ahead of me.  While she was adorable in Annie Hall, growing into herself in The Godfather, pretty in both Father of the Bride movies, it wasn't until she made Somethings' Gotta Give that I truly realized that this is woman who gets more stunningly beautiful as she ages.   She isn't hiding her wrinkles or foolishly filling her face with Botox.  She's aging beautifully and naturally.  She's the reason that at 46, I stopped coloring my hair fifteen years ago.  I aspire to be as gorgeous as Ms. Keaton in twenty years.  Great job, More!

--Dana Vigilante

Lesley-

I've just rediscovered More after having been disappointed in it many years ago. I saw the May cover at the drugstore (with that eye-catching photograph of Diane Keaton) and it piqued my interest, so I subscribed to the iPad edition. I just read the June issue and liked it so much (Delia Ephron's piece was a hoot) that I bought the May issue. It occurred to me that you might want to hear a bit of praise (we all do), so I'm writing to tell you: the layout, the content... it's all clever, informative, and enjoyable to read. Congratulations on a great magazine!

--Aimee Fried, Esq.

I have a suggestion regarding Andrea Robinson's advice in the May issue.  She recommends skipping the Gift With Purchase offered by many cosmetic companies.  I always get the gift (and I don't buy anything I wouldn't use anyway).  Whatever cosmetic items I can't use (wrong color, etc.) I donate to a women's shelter here in town, along with the little pouches.  The people who run the shelter say the women that come there love the little pouches because they help them organize their belongings.

--Robbie Davis

I have always been a big fan of Diane Keaton.  I've enjoyed her movies, her books on photography, as well as Diane's creative energy in restoring homes to their authentic selves in LA.  I have found Diane's eccentric ways to be quite charming over the years. 

However, I do take issue with her comment regarding Woody Allen in the May issue of More.  Dylan Farrow 

made a brave effort in writing the NY Times article regarding her relationship with Woody Allen.  Hollywood did, as Hollywood always does - they just swept the dirt under the carpet, as if the floor beneath them was now sparkling clean and sanitized.  Think Harrison Ford flying Roman Polanski's Oscar to him in France.  What was Harrison Ford thinking?  What possible talent could any human being possible possess, that overshadows their penance for evil?

I just wonder in light of the accusations made by Dylan over the years, how many times Diane asked Woody Allen to babysit her daughter.  Or would she?  Diane's blatant comment that, "All I can say is that I'm Woody's friend and I've been Woody's friend for 45 years and nothings going to change that", obviously means regardless of what truths may be unearthed about Allen, Diane and Woody will always be pals.  That comment spoke to the need Diane has to keep the Woody and Diane magical duo alive, since so much of Diane Keaton's public 

persona is based on her relationship with Woody Allen and his movies.  Diane has made a career out of the Annie Hall character, even dressing the part for 30 years.  

--Valerie Martin

Lesley,   Thank you for your insightful essay and question.

As a Cancer doctor for 25 years, my question has been," How do I provide breast cancer survivors with high quality resources for thoughtful recovery from the ills that breast cancer  treatment and its after effect on their personal life has created? " Unfortunately, we all know too many women who's lives are never the same as they attempt to reconcile a new life with breast cancer and often times struggle to find quality information and direction to aid them on their new Journey.

As a response to this task, I created The Pink Ribbon Survivors Network (www.PinkRibbonSurvivorsNetwork.org)  which hosts hundreds of timely resources for women recovering from breast cancer.  Our information is categories into subjects such as, "Physical Limitations,"  "Doubt and Hope," Your new Married/Partnered/Family Life," and "Leaving a Legacy."    A few moments on our website to peruse our breast cancer survivors' library, known as "The Curriculum for Recovery Library" will illustrate what we have accomplished in our goal thus far.

Thank you for asking such a thoughtful, provocative answer.  I'd love to hear what you or your staff at More magazine think of my challenge and its solution.

--Rob Fisher, MD

Hi Lesley,

I was just reading your May magazine.  I believe this is the first time I've ever read and I've so enjoyed it.  I can feel the BIG intention you and the magazine have for creating a better world.  Thank you for all you do.

In your Letter from the Editor, you posed a question:  How do I change the world?  Great question!  I feel its an amazing thing we all have in our heart to do.

I don't know if you have ever hear of the Avatar® Course.  It's been around since 1987 and the course is taught in

72 countries and 26 or so languages to people from ages 5-6ish to in their 90's.  "This mission of Avatar in the world

is to catalyze the integration of belief systems.  When we perceive that the only difference between us is our beliefs and that beliefs can be created or discreated with ease, the right and wrong game will wind down, a co-create game

will unfold and world peace will ensue." - Harry Palmer, author of the Avatar Materials

I would love to share more information with you about the course, as I feel it would be something that you would be interested in, so I am providing websites for you to explore.  We also do free Info Hours by phone and skype for anyone interested in finding out more about the courses.

Let me know if you would like to know more about the courses.  It's the most fun way to

learn to manage your own consciousness and to make the world a better place at the same time.

Kind regards,

--Blair Jacob

Hello Lesley,

I loved your letter in the May edition—“What’s your question?” and wanted to share that with my friends and family. I couldn’t find the text online and resorted to scanning it in and sending it out.  I think it might go viral if you post it.  Do you have an online text version?

Best regards,

--Jennifer

Hi, Lesley.

I just turned 51 and still get asked by people half my age if I’m a model (or if I have ever been one. I’m 5 11, 130lbs, short short hair but cut in a very cool style.

Can walk the catwalk in stilettos and not fall down I don't have any portfolio type photos but will forward you what I do have. Hopefully you will see some potential and will give me any advice you might have.

Give it to me straight; I’m a big girl and I can handle the truth.

Thank You,

--Tammy Hollingsworth

I've read your Letter from the Editor in More on many occasions--as well as those of your predecessors--and as I sat with a recent issue, after having just returned from epic travels in Cambodia, I thought I would write. I do understand the urge to reinvent, on a very personal level. 

I'm an attorney by training, with experience in municipal and federal government, and labor and business law, while I raised three girls on my own, with the youngest newly 21 and a junior in college in Chicago, and my oldest is soon 30, and a project manager and jewelry designer in Brooklyn (the 25 year old is her own accomplished person), so a parental moment this spring, to have them all almost launched.  

As for me, I live in Portland, OR, in the big rambling house on a hill where my girls grew up, which I rehabbed after selling a small business in the flames of the financial chaos of 2009. It has been an interesting and somewhat non standard trajectory, and as we navigated for over a decade around the shoals of college financial aid, and are nearing the completion of the family education project. 

And in this process, of staying low and tight, I returned to Cambodia, a country where my middle daughter and I traveled in 2006 as she was a senior in high school and I celebrated a 50th birthday. Having gone overland from Thailand to Siem Reap and Phnom Penh and then up the Mekong into Vietnam and on to Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City, I had a pretty good idea of Asian travel. I really loved Cambodia, and being a traveler from way back, I decided to return. I went solo in February 2013 for four weeks, which was a significant journey. 

On my way, I met some terrific folks, including a Cambodian matriarch named Ponheary Ly, and her family at their Seven Candles guesthouse, where I stayed in Siem Reap, and Travis Thompson, the director of the Ponheary Ly Foundation. With them, I traveled for a day to the forest and the village of Koh Ker, a three hour drive in, and helped to prepare food for the children in the elementary school there, which the foundation supports with daily meals and materials, curriculum, uniforms, teachers, and potable water.  

The story of Koh Ker is a fascinating one, which I now know much more intimately, as I returned in December 2013 and lived in the forest for almost three weeks, as the first person from elsewhere (which I didn't quite realize until I'd arrived) to stay and teach at the elementary school in the forest where I had visited in February, and with the secondary students at the dormitory 10K away. Along with me, I brought and dispensed the first band aids in the village, as well as I brought the first books, and watched the children sway at their desks, as I walked and read to them in English. It's a language they don't really speak, but which they know can provide a more stable future, and which they absorbed at a speedy rate, with the help of Maurice Sendak and Where the Wild Things Are. It was as deep and wide as I've ever gone, and challenging in every way--so remote, and so very basic--and gratifying, and enduring. And endearing, as the students are some remarkable kidlets, and young adults. 

I also had my camera in my pocket, or in my hand for the entire stay, and I have some great photographs of my time and the kids, and the local market and the nearby antiquities site, which rivals Angkor, but has been largely abandoned to the jungle since it was built in 900AD. I also sent emails to my daughters which chronicled my journey, and the amazing nexus of daily experience, ancient history, and recent cultural upheaval.   

And so, I thought perhaps this might be of interest to the editors and readers of More, and I'd be happy to tell more of the story, and share photos, a few of which I've included below. I feel crazy fortunate to have been the person to inhabit this tableau, 8,000 miles away and so seriously gone, yet integrated and real in another place. The opportunity was universal, while so distilled, and encompassingly personal. Not often that life is like this. !

Best to all at More--

--Victoria  

Hi there Lesley,

After reading almost every issue of More I think I'm going to email you with insightful comments or words of thanks for certain articles. I never do it.

I received a tablet for Christmas and wondered what the heck I was going to do with it. I can barely answer my smart phone some days. But then I learned the local library system had a program for downloading ebooks without leaving your home. And with the snow we were inundated with this winter that was a gift.

I still prefer paper in my hands, but when I saw the ad for the three month free trial to Scribd I was excited. My library, while having a wide selection, still leaves something to be desired.

So I was quite dismayed that the free trial required a credit card or Pay Pal account number.  I presume when the 3 months are up they're going to start billing, most likely without warning, or else a complicated opt out process will be required. No thanks.

Why can't three free months be free? Why can't they just ask for the buy-in when the 3 months are almost up?  I sound like the Credit Karma commercial.  Of course in the KC small print you're agreeing to be inundated with emails. 

At the very least the offer wording in More should have warned that we had to give credit info to lock in the deal. Be up front, let us decide before we go to the effort of setting up an account. That's the way I expect my fav mag to treat me, with respect and giving me all the facts up front.

Sorry it was a complaint that finally got me to the keyboard. I really love the magazine! I recommend it to all my friends and family.

--Brenda Boldin

My question is how do I help women not choose to abort their children?  The resources and support are many but the information is perpetually blocked from those who would benefit from it.

--Juli Wooster

There's a remark in this edition of your magazine about movies mothers...it's really offensive and distressingly inadequate. Are you making those remark just to sell your magazine? Well shame on you! You should be giving a voice to those women and mothers making a difference in the life of others rather than putting them down with your incompetent journalism. Better do what's right and apologize. It takes very little grassroots' social network effort to put a shameful magazine like yours out of business

--Anonymous

Dear More Magazine –

You might want to explain to you advertisers once MORE who your readers are and how best to appeal to them. Maybe it’s just me, but when I see an ad in your magazine displaying a model who is half my age (I’m 49), I get turned off to whatever the product is they are trying to sell. In the most recent issue (May 2014), opposite the Contents page was a full-page ad for NIC+ZOE. The person in the ad appears to be about twelve years old. I was initially confused – not sure why an advertiser would be trying to sell children’s clothes in MORE. Look, not every ad in MORE Magazine has to feature a 40+ model; however, if an advertiser really wants MORE readers to consider its clothing line, that advertiser ought to consider a more mature-looking woman to model them. Bottom line, I am no longer a teenager, and I have no interest in wearing clothing that a teenager might wear.

--Amy Brandais

Good afternoon,

I have been a reader of More Magazine for several years.  I either subscribed or I buy it in the stores.

I have always enjoyed the articles about life's 2nd ACTS!  Actually because of reading the many articles about brave women who dared to take a step outside the box, I too have done just that.  I wanted to write you and tell you because unlike so many of the articles I read I started my 2nd ACT with my life's savings.  I did not have a high power job that left me with thousands or even millions in the bank. I am not a movie star or model who can afford to start over.  I started my Musical Melodrama Theatre the good old fashioned way, with my life's savings and with investors that I had to go out and find.  I think this is important for your readers to know because your readers are everyday women just like me.  They are in the workforce and are working many hours a week to provide for their family.  Some of them are single moms like me and some of them have to take on more than one job to make ends meet.  They need to know that they can also achieve such success by reading about someone who achieved it and who is just like them. 

I enjoyed ready about Marlo Thomas, Victoria Beckham, Martha Stewart and the others, but these individuals already had so much going for them and funds that go along with their past careers.  It is much easier to get a loan from a bank for what you would like to do if you are Martha Stewart.  There is a difference with regards to how difficult this journey is depending on what you have and who you are.  I am sure these folks had difficult beginnings I do not deny that.

It took me three years to find the investors and  a bank to fund my project.  I had to go from bank to bank and plead my case until one bank believed in me and decided to help.

I am a 58 year old women who did this on her own and I believe it would be nice to hear about 2nd ACTS from everyday ordinary women who had to work extra hard to make their dream come true.  It can happen to us as not so famous people  and I am proof of that. 

I am sure you receive many emails and I am not even sure if you read these.  But if you do I appreciate your time.

Thank you,

--Nancy LaViola

I am 65. At age 64, I started to write screenplays without any knowledge or experience. I have written 8 of them now. I completed a 28 min. docudrama and have started showing it at film festivals. Please take a look:  www.harrietquimby.com. I researched her for 12 years. My newest script is about dying and the research and writing of this one has affected my life. Please look at: www.sterlingscripts.com. My past…I invented the biggest form of exercise that took over the world…step aerobics. The Step Co. came to me, gave me $50,000., and took everything including my credit for it. I went on to invent Plyorobics and another company said they could just take it from me since everyone else had. I lacked money and a lawyer, plus I was naive. There's a story here, between both of the situations.  Oh, and I make comic books…look at www.eventureswithebabe.com.  Life is short…do all you can.  

--Dawn Brown

Hello Lesley, 

I enjoy More magazine and still prefer the tactile satisfaction of reading the hard copy print magazine. I am a subscription reader and look forward to receiving More in the mail each month. 

I do not care for the perfume advertisements enclosed that are scented. I typically remove the offending ads immediately and then place the magazine in an area to "air out" and remove the overpowering odor. Typically, after a day or so, I am able to read the magazine scent-free. 

The May magazine seemed to be the same situation--I quickly removed the ads in an attempt to alleviate the horrific scent. Unfortunately, even after "airing out" the magazine for several days, the odor is still present. As such, I will not be reading the May installment. 

So you see, this is a problem.  It seems silly to continue to purchase a magazine that I will not read because doing so results in nausea and headache--almost immediate onset, I might add. 

So, it is unlikely I will renew my subscription. I realize that revenue generated from advertisement is your bread and butter and that my feedback is not all that compelling. None the less, I would like you to know that at least one of your readers does not care for the scent based advertisement and I certainly wish it would be discontinued. 

Take good care, 

--Diane

I just finished reading this issue - it was wonderful. 

One question though:  On page 111 you give the link for Exodus Travels (for the Ethiopian trek), but I am unable to connect to or find the correct site for Exodus.  Do you have any further information on this and how I can get to their site?

Thank you

--Julie Parker

Lesley,

I am writing to request the opportunity for Leigh Anne Tuohy to write an article for your upcoming issue of More Magazine so she can make her story clear, as on page 20 of your May issue it is gravely misunderstood.

The Buzz page features “Movie Mothers Know Best.” If your takeaway from The Blindside is that Leigh Anne Tuohy adopted to boost her football team, you are mistaken. The Tuohys had no agenda and they did not seek out to adopt. They simply saw a kid with needs and they were able to provide. They gave Michael hope, love and opportunity and that one act of kindness changed many, many lives.  Your opinion means you are making fun of this adoption and that is not ok! Michael is a contributing member of the Tuohy family and he actually thinks that Leigh Anne birthed him so to make fun of the reason that he is a member of their family just doesn’t make sense.  It once again diminishes his value suggesting they only loved him for his athletics.  We truly believe families don’t have to match and More obviously doesn’t agree with that platform.  There are over 400,000 kids longing for a forever family, in our country alone!

In your Letter from the Editor of this same issue, you challenge your readers to ask “What is your question” and you say your response to that question is “How do I change the world.”  We believe the answer is one person at a time. We believe everyone has value and we can all make a difference. 

I look forward to your reply.

Thank you!

--Tracy Jarrells

First Published Wed, 2014-06-11 15:21

Find this story at:

http://www.more.com/member-voices/your-letters/we-hear-you-letters-our-may-2014-issue