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Relationships : Dating, Sex, & Love

Quick Fixes For Your Sex Life

14 ways to take your sex life from so-so to ooooh

Daniela Jelaska

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Plan a Sexy Date

In her book,  “Cheat on Your Husband (with your Husband)” (out in September) Andrea Syrtash suggest getting away from your kids, for more than just 2 hours.  “I used to work with someone who would take her husband to cheap motels for date nights,” Syrtash writes. ““The seedier the better!” she told me. Enjoying time together in a new environment will make your date a memorable one (even if you just decide to stay in and order breakfast in bed with a pay-per-view movie).”
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Kiss and Tell

"When we date, we often spend hours with locked lips; when we are married, we usually spend minutes (or more accurately, seconds) kissing,” says Syrtash. “Before you and your husband were married, you used kissing to connect, express your feelings for one another, and heighten the sexual mood. See if you can kiss your husband for at least 30 interrupted seconds and notice how much of a spark you can create’— in less than a minute.”
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Change Your Sheets

Small changes in your bedroom can boost the mood in a big way. For one week, swap out your everyday cotton sheets for a silky, sensual set.
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Train Your Brain

Your biggest, and most vital, sex organ is located above your neck. Yes, we’re talking about your brain, and neglecting it can decrease your pleasure between the sheets. Research shows that women get distracted during sex (more so than men) making it harder to tune into their senses. Dr. Laurie B. Mintz was the first to clue us in on this study when she wrote about "mindful sex" for more.com. "Practice mindfulness throughout the day. This state of complete absorption can be invoked during vacuuming, showering, or talking with a friend. Immerse yourself in the feel of warm, sudsy water on your fingers while doing the dinner dishes. The more practiced you are at achieving a mindful state during daily life, the easier it will be for you to get there during sex."
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Seduce Your Partner

No, we’re not talking about striptease or lingerie. Tie his tie for him before work, and make plenty of eye contact while doing so.
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Try a Lubricant

Author and sex educator Dr. Yvonne Fulbright says, "Lubricant can be what makes or breaks a sex session when it comes to maintaining a position for the long-haul. Having lube in hand, literally, is also going to make for just the right touch in mastering sexual techniques during foreplay. No matter what the move, lovers feel more adequate, confidant, and supported in being able to deliver maximum pleasure."
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Get Into A New Position

Routine sex can be as stale as old bread. Before you slide into the same position you’ve been using since your honeymoon, take a page from the Kama Sutra or the Position Sex Bible.
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Good Vibrations

Dr. Fulbright says, "Coming in a variety of textures, a massage mitt gives whole new meaning to the term "magic hands," helping to relax the body with some scintillating touch." We like: the Fukuoku Five Finger Massage Glove. This waterproof glove sends about 45,000 vibrations per minute.
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Have that Quickie

Dr. Laura Berman, author of It’s Not Him, It’s You writes in her new book, "A quickie keeps a couple bonded, keeps their sexual responses intact, and tides them over until they have the time and energy for a more extended sex session."
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Show & Tell

Don’t just tell your partner what works in the bedroom- show him. Sex therapists can’t stress it enough, an open flow of communication is key for a successful romp.
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Keep Up Your Kegels

"Performing your Kegels regularly keeps your pelvic floor strong and your orgasms intense," Dr. Berman says. "To find the right muscles, squeeze to stop your flow of urine. Once located, exercise by contracting for 5 seconds, then releasing for 5 seconds. You can do this discreet exercise anytime."
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Use A Blindfold

Dr. Fullbright suggests using a blindfold to help maximize your senses. "Gently force yourself to tune into the sensations, getting more out of the experience." Paired with a lubricant or arousal oil, it’s a sure-fire way to blow your mind.
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Use An Arousal Oil

A female Viagra? Yes, please. Free of synthetic hormones and parabens, an arousal oil like Zestra boosts libido and increases sexual enhancement. Even better? It’s available over-the-counter.
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Have Sex, And Have Lots of It

Experts agree that the less sex you have, the more out of sync you become with your partner. "When sex isn’t working, our non-sexual physical intimacy breaks down and our threshold for getting angry with each other becomes much lower," Dr. Berman says. So have sex when you don’t want to. Have it when you’re tired, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, or on the floor. You’ll thank us one day.

 

See 12 more reasons you should be having sex here!

 

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First Published December 21, 2010

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Comments

09.30.2011

Best advice for the sex life. Get rid of the contraception...no joke. After every method of ABC including dh's vasectomy, including his reversal, we've found that separating sex from the unitive and procreative aspects was empty and we've found that sex without contraception is what it's supposed to be...an act of self-giving love...and in the process mind-blowing at the same time. Too bad modern society is too self arrogant to see that!

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