In her book, “Cheat on Your Husband (with your Husband)” (out in September) Andrea Syrtash suggest getting away from your kids, for more than just 2 hours. “I used to work with someone who would take her husband to cheap motels for date nights,” Syrtash writes. ““The seedier the better!” she told me. Enjoying time together in a new environment will make your date a memorable one (even if you just decide to stay in and order breakfast in bed with a pay-per-view movie).”
"When we date, we often spend hours with locked lips; when we are married, we usually spend minutes (or more accurately, seconds) kissing,” says Syrtash. “Before you and your husband were married, you used kissing to connect, express your feelings for one another, and heighten the sexual mood. See if you can kiss your husband for at least 30 interrupted seconds and notice how much of a spark you can create’— in less than a minute.”
Your biggest, and most vital, sex organ is located above your neck. Yes, we’re talking about your brain, and neglecting it can decrease your pleasure between the sheets. Research shows that women get distracted during sex (more so than men) making it harder to tune into their senses. Dr. Laurie B. Mintz was the first to clue us in on this study when she wrote about "mindful sex" for more.com. "Practice mindfulness throughout the day. This state of complete absorption can be invoked during vacuuming, showering, or talking with a friend. Immerse yourself in the feel of warm, sudsy water on your fingers while doing the dinner dishes. The more practiced you are at achieving a mindful state during daily life, the easier it will be for you to get there during sex."
Author and sex educator Dr. Yvonne Fulbright says, "Lubricant can be what makes or breaks a sex session when it comes to maintaining a position for the long-haul. Having lube in hand, literally, is also going to make for just the right touch in mastering sexual techniques during foreplay. No matter what the move, lovers feel more adequate, confidant, and supported in being able to deliver maximum pleasure."
Dr. Fulbright says, "Coming in a variety of textures, a massage mitt gives whole new meaning to the term "magic hands," helping to relax the body with some scintillating touch." We like: the Fukuoku Five Finger Massage Glove. This waterproof glove sends about 45,000 vibrations per minute.
Dr. Laura Berman, author of It’s Not Him, It’s You writes in her new book, "A quickie keeps a couple bonded, keeps their sexual responses intact, and tides them over until they have the time and energy for a more extended sex session."
"Performing your Kegels regularly keeps your pelvic floor strong and your orgasms intense," Dr. Berman says. "To find the right muscles, squeeze to stop your flow of urine. Once located, exercise by contracting for 5 seconds, then releasing for 5 seconds. You can do this discreet exercise anytime."
Dr. Fullbright suggests using a blindfold to help maximize your senses. "Gently force yourself to tune into the sensations, getting more out of the experience." Paired with a lubricant or arousal oil, it’s a sure-fire way to blow your mind.
Experts agree that the less sex you have, the more out of sync you become with your partner. "When sex isn’t working, our non-sexual physical intimacy breaks down and our threshold for getting angry with each other becomes much lower," Dr. Berman says. So have sex when you don’t want to. Have it when you’re tired, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, or on the floor. You’ll thank us one day.