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Quiz: Just How Mature Is He?

We all know that maturity cannot always be pegged to chronological age. When you judge a man's maturity level, says Pamela Redmond Satran, you have to look to other, subtler factors. Take this quiz if you dare!

by Pamela Redmond Satran

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You go away on a weeklong business trip. When you come home:

A. The house is full of empty beer cans, half-empty pizza boxes and a brand-new Xbox.

 

B. The house is full of unsorted mail, unfolded laundry and a brand-new big-screen TV.

 

C. The house is full of fresh food, fresh flowers and, OK, a brand-new big-screen TV.

 

D. The house is full of the smell of . . . is that Bengay?

 

 

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com / luckyraccoon  

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The two of you throw a big party together. At midnight you find him:

A. Drunk in the closet, making out with your neighbor’s cousin.

B. Drunk in the backyard, smoking a cigar with the guys.

C. Drunk by your side, his hand resting on your hip.

D. Barely drunk at all, in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher.

 

Photo courtesy of Fred Sweet/Shutterstock.com
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Oh no, he lost his job! His reaction:

A. After tweet-trashing his former employer, he takes off on a cross-country road trip.

B. After filing for unemployment, he starts writing his novel.

C. After brushing up his résumé, he starts hunting for a new job.

D. After reviewing his 401(k), he announces he’s ready to retire.

 

Photo courtesy of Jorg Hackemann/Shutterstock.com
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At a romantic dinner, you're seated next to a family with several small children. His reaction:

A. He gets down on the floor to show the kids his animal impressions.

B. He has a tantrum and stalks out of the restaurant.

C. He orders you both martinis, extra dry, extra cold and extra large.

D. He launches into a lecture about how children should behave in public that soon has the offending family asking to be moved.

 

Photo courtesy of iofoto/Shutterstock.com
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You had a lousy day, week, year. To cheer you up, he offers to:

A. Score some really excellent weed.

B. Treat you to a back rub, and you don’t even have to have sex afterward if you don’t feel like it.

C. Watch Four Weddings and a Funeral while sharing a vat of Phish Food.

D. Buy you some shiny new municipal bonds.

Photo courtesy of Darren Baker/Shutterstock.com
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ANSWER KEY: If you chose 3 out of 5 A's, he's Ashton Kutcher mature.

Other examples of this type include Justin Bieber and Charlie Sheen, along with leaders of political parties not your own and most contestants on reality shows.

 

 

Photo courtesy of Jaguar PS/Shutterstock.com
ashton kutcher image
Jaguar PS/Shutterstock.com

ANSWER KEY: If you chose 3 out of 5 B's, he's Jake Gyllenhaal mature.

This means he’s no baby, but he’s not fully grown up either. Examples of this type range from guys as young as Robert Pattinson to those as grizzled as Mick Jagger.

 

 

Photo courtesy of Jaguar PS/Shutterstock.com
jake gyllenhaal image
Jaguar PS/Shutterstock.com

ANSWER KEY: If you chose 3 out of 5 C's, he's Jay-Z mature.

While he can still be fun and sexy, he's put his bad-boy days behind him and settled into coupledom, fatherhood, a committed career and life. Other C's of varying ages include Prince William, Brad Pitt and Harrison Ford.

 

 

Photo courtesy of s_bukley/Shutterstock.com
jay-z image
s_bukley/shutterstock.com

ANSWER KEY: If you chose 3 out of 5 D's, he's Albus Dumbledore mature.

Or Colin Powell mature. Or maybe even Alex P. Keaton mature. In other words, he’s achieved a state that few men reach outside of movie fantasies, ’80s sitcoms or the governing board of the Securities and Exchange Commission.

 

Pamela Redmond Satran is the author of the best seller How Not to Act Old and the novel The Possibility of You.

 

Next: Under-40 Man versus Over-40 Man

 

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Originally published in the October 2012 issue

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