For a financial relationship to be successful, one party can’t abdicate all responsibility. “Don’t allow one person to be the ‘money person’ and carry all the financial stress on her shoulders,” says Bethany Palmer. Managing your finances should be a shared duty, and each of you should have your own specific roles.

Keep meeting times and subjects regular and planned so the huddle can develop into a comfortable routine. Bethany Palmer suggests meeting every week for the first 90 days, then shifting to once a month once you’re on the same wavelength. Combining the huddle with something fun—like a nice bottle of wine—will help to turn it into a ritual and keep you motivated, says Manisha Thakor, author of Get Financially Naked: How to Talk Money With Your Honey.

Except in an emergency, it’s usually better to postpone money talk till your formal meeting, says Bethany Palmer. If you’re a saver, you can then trust that the conversation will actually happen later and avoid feeling the need to nag. If you’re a spender, you’ll have a time to present your proposal calmly instead of springing it on your spouse.

The number of accounts that you and your spouse decide to have is as personal as the number of children to raise, says Thakor. Separate accounts are a perfectly acceptable practice among couples today as long as there’s consistent communication and transparency about spending. With joint accounts, Thakor suggests that you set a dollar amount that each of you can spend monthly, no questions asked. After that, consult each other for any further spending.

Making the transition to a blended family typically involves a lot of emotions. To make conversations about finances pragmatic rather than fraught, consider enlisting a financial planner, says Thakor. Once your core financial decisions are established, she says, “it won’t be as difficult to make new decisions.”