TREAT IT AS TEMPORARY
Then you discuss the situation, use language that implies he won’t be at home in pajamas forever. “For men, finality is the biggest fear,” says Susan Fletcher, PhD, a psychologist and author of Working in the Smart Zone. “Even though he could be unemployed for a year, talk about how this is ‘just temporary’ or ‘the way it is right now.’ ”

HELP HIM MOURN AND MOVE ON
It’s OK for your spouse to grieve the loss of his job—for a little while. Then you should help him move forward, with pragmatic suggestions, not platitudes. “Talk about next steps,” Fletcher says. “Try to help him stay goal oriented.”

ENCOURAGE HIM TO PLAN HIS DAY
“It’s important for an unemployed person to schedule his time,” says Robert Leahy, PhD, author of Beat the Blues Before They Beat You, “or else he’ll sit around and ruminate, and that’ll make him more depressed.”

DON’T EXPECT HIM TO BECOME A HOUSEHUSBAND
Sure, he’s at home. But that doesn’t mean he’s available for all the chores and child care. “It’s a job to look for a job,” Fletcher says. “One of the worst things you can do is act as if his role has changed just because he’s unemployed.”

EASE OFF THE CAREER COACHING
If your husband wants résumé tips, he’ll ask. Otherwise, leave him to it.