“Many make the comment they’re stuck in a [dating] rut. That no matter what they seem to do they keep ending up with the same outcome. For the most part, that is because people are unwilling to try new things and venture out of their comfort zones. Use this Tool when you see the rut being a problem with your personal growth. We need to try new approaches when the ones we use don’t work. It seems pretty simple, so why don’t we do it? The reason is also simple: New things feel strange and awkward. We have been conditioned to avoid things that feel different. So the “bridge” that must be made is that we tread water in our present state and need to find a new way to get to where we want to go. I understand that treading water allows us to survive – and that if we tread water long enough, something may come along. The risk in this line of thinking is that we can only tread so long. Also, when we tread water we stay in the same spot – and that is not where we ultimately want to be. I understand that treading water allows us to survive and that if we tread long enough, something may come along to pull us out. This risky line of thinking means we can only tread so long – and if helps doesn’t come, we keep right on treading or sink.
“Also, when we tread water we stay in the same spot, which may not be where we want to be. As you read this, try and quickly identify if you do this – that is what this Tool’s design helps you to do. To shake you a bit and make you see that the reason you are in the same place – the reason you have not been growing – is because you have been doing the same thing over again.”
What Dr. Lance is trying to teach everyone is that to reinvent anything – including your relationships – you have to start with you. Until you figure out how what you need to be a good partner in your relationship, you will continue choosing the same men with the same behaviors and continue to face the same issues. I’ve been told we are given lessons to learn until we learn them, which is a belief that we get sent back to this Earth to keep learning what we didn’t learn the first time around. If you think of it as applicable to your life and relationships, you get to keep dating and dating until you finally figure it out. So, with that nugget of information, I will leave you to think about it.
And if you want to see the other amazing 110 Tools Dr. Lance has in his book, purchase a copy on Amazon by searching for the title Be the Hammer Not the Nail. You will really enjoy it. The whole book is about reinvention and living your life like a successful person both in your relationships and business.
Michelle Gamble-Risley is an author and speaker. Her book Smash: A Smart Girl’s Guide to Practical Marketing and Public Relations is on sale on Amazon. Type in the FULL title to find it.