What Would You Do with a Male Escort?

Male escorts are great for, well, everything…I bet some can even bake if you throw in an extra buck!

Photograph: iStock photo

Male escorts are great for, well, everything…I bet some can even bake if you throw in an extra buck!

Diane Keaton has her signature gesture of disapproval—she grimaces like a kid being forced to eat fried liver and bats her hands around as though shooing off a hornet. An interview with her appeared in the November issue of MORE magazine, and she had just that reaction when asked about a man in her life.

Then she added, “I don’t think men even look at me anymore. If anything could work in that area, it would probably be if I paid him. Then I think we could work out an affable relationship.”

At which point it dawned on me that she was talking about hiring a male escort.

Now, I am in no way suggesting Diane Keaton has or even wants to employ the services of a male escort. She was joking (I think) and it got me thinking.

Would I hire a male escort if I had the money (it’s not cheap)? Would you? Are male escorts becoming more acceptable since HBO launched the series, Hung, about a school teacher who finds out his biggest asset is between his legs, not his ears?

Regular readers may remember I’ve touched on this subject before. Let’s just say, things got weird. And I still didn’t get any answers so I’m taking another crack at the topic.

At the recommendation of Holly, a high-end female escort who also runs a website for male escorts, I interviewed Storm Astor (do I have to tell you that’s not his real name?) by email since he’s based in the UK.

Storm sounds like a genuinely nice guy and I’ve no reason to doubt his stories. He describes how he got into the business when his ex-wife explained, “You don’t have to sleep with them and I guarantee there are loads of wealthy ladies out there who would love to have you on their arm at functions and dinners.’‘ (We know who had the business brains in that family.)

Here’s what I learned from Storm and Holly. Male escorts provide many benefits but oddly sex is not the most important one. Far more than sex, female clients value talk—the kind where he’s actually listening.

So successful male escorts have good communication skills but what else do you get for your money?

If Storm’s stories and promotional copy are any indication, you can “expect a guy who exceeds your expectations with just one smile…an angel and devil in one (think Hugh Grant crossed with Colin Firth)…a shoulder to cry on…a romantic hero…a cowboy…the kind of man you didn’t think existed…” He also adds, “Why, you will you will keep turning around wondering where my sword-bearer and white horse have gone.”

In short, you’re getting true romance. The kind of thing women can only dream of.

Now let’s say you’re a more practical gal and you need a little more than romance. What else can a male escort be for you? I asked Storm:

  • The perfect gentleman at a black tie event or the dreaded Christmas party you have to go to
  • The charming date for a family event where you can show your annoying relatives once and for all that you’re no spinster!
  • A companion who can fill your weekend with pampering after you’ve exhausted yourself working from “silly o’clock to midnight” every weekday
  • A man’s opinion for when you’re clothes shopping and you don’t want to deal with the boyfriend’s sulking because he’s missing some game
  • A vacation where everything is taken care of—“all you need to do is show up with your passport and luggage.”

Good grief. Who’s the idiot who said money can’t buy happiness?

PS: You can visit Storm’s personal website @ http://www.stormastor.com/

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