I didn’t go looking for it. It just happened. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true.
Both of us are married, both have families. We have a lot in common. Our children are our priority and we share some of the same hobbies and friends. We’ve both reached a time when we’ve started to question what we really want and how to spend the second half of our lives.
Anyone who’s been in a relationship for many years will tell you — if they’re being honest— that life has a way of taking it’s toll. We ride the waves up and down, sometimes sailing through unscathed and sometimes struggling to hang on. When our children grow up and move on we’re suddenly confronted with the realization that it’s back to just us and sometimes we realize our partner isn’t the person we married. Sometimes people change.
I think it can be a dangerous time in a marriage, a vulnerable time, and it’s during this time I’ve fallen in love. When I met my husband years ago, I figured it would be the last time I’d experience the joy and excitement of discovering someone perfect for me. But I was wrong. I’ve found someone perfect for me, and here I am, twenty years later, falling in love again.
But like I said, I didn’t go looking for it. It began innocently and caught me off guard.
Busy with our lives, it’s never easy to find a way to spend time alone together. Sometimes we squeeze in an occasional walk, sometimes we go for a drink and sit and talk for hours. We discuss our children, careers, and interests. We confide in one another and share our hopes and dreams for the future. We’ve discovered we share many of the same dreams.
He tells me about his love for writing and speaks with such enthusiasm and passion. His eyes light up, and I see something in him that I saw in my husband many years ago. He’s kind and compassionate, strong yet sensitive. Sometimes he’ll call me during the day, just to see how I’m doing and to tell me he loves me. His voice can make me melt.
He can be crazy and unpredictable and sometimes gives me flowers ‘just because’. He enjoys the simple things in life like reading a good book, playing a game of scrabble or watching the sunset. He makes me laugh, and sometimes drives me crazy with his relentless efforts to make the world a better place. “If I’m not part of the solution, I’m part of the problem,” he says. His mantra, Always try, never lie, always help the little guy, is something he lives, teaching it to his students and his own children.
Since our children have moved on to university, it’s made it a little easier to steal special moments, just for us. We sneak in a movie now and then, holding hands like young couples in love. Once, we overcame the guilt and escaped on a romantic island getaway, creating memories we’ll cherish forever.
These days we socialize more often in the same circles and know some of our friends suspect something’s going on. They’ve noticed we’ve changed, and know we share a secret. We try not to make it obvious, but sometimes when you’re in love, there’s no hiding it.
So you see I really had no choice in the matter. Sometimes love just happens. People fall in and out of love everyday. Who’s to judge?
Yes, I’m a married woman and I’ve fallen in love with a married man. It just happens he’s the same man I married over twenty years ago. I guess you’d say we’re two of the lucky ones. We’ve ridden life’s waves, sailed through relatively unscathed, and came out stronger than ever.
Cliché, I know. But true. Now you can judge.