I have always been fascinated by how different we women all are. And amazingly, short or tall, skinny or fat, pretty or plain, each woman has something that men are drawn to. I’ve always believed that looks didn’t have a lot to do with it. Sure they help, but believe it or not that is not necessarily sexy to every man.
I’ve asked David M. Matthews to join me so that we might compare how similar (or different) the male and female viewpoints on this topic actually are. In case you haven’t met David, or had a chance to read his “A Male’s Perspective” column or read his book Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider’s Guide to How Men Think, here is a chance to get into the mind of a man and see what he thinks.
Is being confident an important part of a woman being sexy?
Yes. Confidence is what attracts a “normal” man beyond the physical characteristics. Men are attracted to women who are not afraid to talk about their goals, dreams and aspirations. In my opinion a woman who is poised, intelligent and has something to say, intrigues men.
Don’t be afraid to exude a confident manner. You know how sexy you find confidence in a man. Well, a confident woman who is obviously comfortable in her own skin can be a real turn-on for the right guy.
How important is appearance?
If you don’t feel attractive it will be apparent through your actions. Use what you have, and dress it up, but don’t go overboard and don’t wear anything to flashy or too open. Less is more.
I’ve got a lot to say on this one. Since men are very visually oriented, how a woman looks is usually the first thing that arouses his sexual interest. And while there is no one particular look that all men find appealing, there are a few things that guys generally agree cause a tingling in their loins.
And what are these visual “cues” that cause men to practically drool as they gaze in your direction? First and foremost, you must look like a woman. Show off your shape. Don’t hide it under layers of shapeless, baggy clothing, no matter how stylish or chic. We want to see your womanly form – that’s sexy to us. It doesn’t matter if you don’t fit the mold of what the fashion magazines say is the perfect bod. Those publications are generally not written by straight men, so they’re woefully ill-equipped to make any assessment of what gets your average guy hot. Even if you’re sporting a few extra pounds, the additional fleshiness simply gives you more curves…and we love curves – because generally we don’t have them (beer bellies and love handles aside). So let us see ‘em.
Don’t be afraid to show off any and all of your best physical features. Show some cleavage (guys are nuts about boobs, as if you didn’t already know that), the more the better, regardless of how bountiful your endowment. With today’s wonderfully-engineered, cleavage-enhancing bras, any woman can now draw admiring attention to this popular male point-of-interest. And if you’ve got great legs, wear the shortest skirt you can stomach, and the tallest heals you can walk in without doing a pratfall. If you’ve got a bitchin’ butt, he should see it straining against some snug-fitting jeans. Nice, tight tummy? Flaunt it in his face. And unclip your hair and let it fall luxuriously to your shoulders (or beyond). A swept-up ‘do may be “elegant” and “sophisticated,” but flowing tresses are “hot.” The key here is to take pride in your femininity – that which makes you appear to be most unlike us in our eyes. Because the more you look like a woman, the more appealing you are to a man.