("Yes, I know a man has needs. But how will buying a Porsche help us put Charlotte through college?") Even if you don't win, you're more likely to keep a cool head. Instead of one of you coming out "right" and the other feeling infuriated, you have only best guesses -- decisions you make together.Jay Heinrichs is the author of Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us about the Art of Persuasion.Originally published in MORE magazine, November 2007.