SWF: Dating After 50

If a woman cries in cyberspace and no one is there to hear her, does she make a sound?

by Linda • More.com Member { View Profile }

Perhaps the hardest part of dating in the 21st centure is that cyberspace sex has become so commonplace and somewhat of an addiction. There is no drama, no emotion… no stained sheets. When you want your date to go home, you just turn off the computer. If you aren’t having any fun halfway through the "date," you can click to another eager-to-please match. Seriously, women – click on www.fling.com and tell me why any man would want to deal with the complications of a real relationship when he can click, pay his twenty bucks a month, and find just about anything his heart – and penis – desires.

I don’t know if these are real women, paid models, or, well, whores… but they will expose themselves to anyone at any time with absolutely no concerns of morality. I had to stare at a couple of the pictures because I just didn’t know what I was looking at! The men who are engaged with these cyberspace beauties actually think they are living the perfect life, one to envy … but I can’t help wonder, when they are sick, who will kiss their feverish forehead or clean up their vomit? Sure, maybe these women can bend over backwards and lick themselves, but can they make a decent bowl of chicken noodle soup? When they’re done oiling up and tweaking their perky nipples for the web cam, are they prepared to change dirty diapers or care for an ailing mother-in-law? On the other hand, do they have to?

I have a rather eclectic group of friends and acquaintances. They are wonderful people who love and support me, and for whom I would do anything. They range in age from 25 – 65, and come from all walks of life. I have learned many of life’s lessons from them. It’s wonderful to know that I can turn in any direction and someone will be there to catch me if I fall, and love me unconditionally. Many of these friends are men, so I have to ask the question: if I can have loving relationships with my male friends, why can’t I have a mutually respectful, romantic relationship with a seemingly fine single man? Is it really me, my quirkiness and emotion and drama that turn the single man away — or is it that today’s single man doesn’t know how to accept and love a woman for who she truly is?

I am getting acquainted with a couple of men on an on-line dating service. I tried it about 7 years ago, and the good looking guy I assumed I was chatting with was really a frighteningly freakish fiend from whom I couldn’t wait to escape. Nonetheless, I thought I’d try it again. I have been having an interesting time chatting with men who mostly find my photos "sexy." Great! I might as well oil up, tweak my nipples and join www.fling.com!

But then along come a few seemingly sincere chaps who are looking for true companionship, friendship and love. Every now and then a guy with the tag name "knightrider" pops into my space to give me kind words of encouragement. I look at this guy and I think, now there’s a loyal man who deserves to be in love and enjoy all the amenities that follow suit. But even I am hung up on physical attraction, and I right here and now duly apologize to all the knightriders of the world.

I’ve met one guy who, as it turned out, actually lived on the same side of the small suburban community as I. We met for a drink and some conversation — and I thought, now here’s a guy who is exactly like his profile reads. We were not a match.

Now I’m chatting with Jim. His profile attracted my attention because he claims to be looking for a woman who has all the traits that to other men have made me unattractive as a life mate. How can this be? It must be a trick — I’m intrigued.

My 60+ year old friends have both found beaus within the past year or so. Di is a lovely woman who deserves to be in love, and she has found Mike. They are a wonderfully special couple. Bee, on the other hand, is a self-sufficient woman who was perfectly content living life as a single woman, until she met Lyndon. Having two of my best friends be in loving relationships makes me feel happiness… and loneliness.

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